Page 121 of Stormhold

I wanted those lips back on mine and never leave again. I wanted it like it was my last dying breath. No, I needed it. I needed her. But I remained still, knowing nothing good was ever going to come out of it.

I didn’t know how much time had passed as I sat there staring at her. It was like I was getting my fix for the day, and my thoughts quieted and my usual calmness settled over me in her presence.

I fucking shouldn’t be here, but I can’t seem to move.

Her eyes only left the book after she finished the last page. She closed it softly and set it carefully on the table. Sparing a glance my way, she rose to her feet and put on her jacket, tugging a leather book bag over her shoulder.

“Good night, Arkane,” she said softly before walking out of the room while I sat there staring at her empty chair.

I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing because I found myself in the exact spot for the next three days, staring at her while she read without saying a word, except for a soft good night she said every time she left.

“You shouldn’t make a habit out of this,” she commented instead of her usual good night on the fourth day.

“I know,” I mumbled dryly.

A sigh left her lips as she put her book aside and met my eyes. “What are you really doing here, Arkane?” she asked. “I’ve nothing more to give you.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want anything else.”

“We aren’t friends anymore.”

“Why can’t we be?”

“We can’t because I love you more than a friend,” she replied without missing a beat. “And I don’t trust you.”

There it was, the reason that nothing between us was right.

I slowly nodded. “You’re right.” I shouldn’t make her my weakness, but she was making me a weak man. And weakness wasn’t something I could afford if I wanted to save my family. My life was simply a duty to uphold. I had no liberty to experience anything else.

And Bella deserved to be happy.

She might think I didn’t give a fuck about her, but it was quite the opposite. I adored and cared for her enough to walk out of her life. She was better off without me, and I was okay with spending the rest of my life knowing she was happy, somewhere safe without me.

That was enough for me.

My eyes took in every inch of her face, this time in a different light, knowing it was the last time I’d ever see her, and with that, I left.

The best and the worst regret of my life.

A moment of warmth in my darkness that I’d never forget.

Goodbye, la mia Bella.

CHAPTER 33

BELLE

He came.

He left.

I didn’t know why he came.

I didn’t know why he left.

But it hurt just the same, seeing him once again, being by his side once again. It was the kind of hurt that felt good. And I wanted more of it, needed more of it, but I knew it was wrong. No good would ever come out of two people with different expectations trying to even be in the same space.

He attached to me like a bee stuck to a flower. Like he craved my presence but didn’t know what to do with it. It was the same exact feeling I had, only I knew it was love.