Page 39 of Fire Bird

“I agree.” I touch the bottom of my throat, the spot where Nova’s ring rests against my skin, still hanging on the same pendant I’ve worn since she disappeared. “I’m not sure I can do what Rev said. I’m not sure I can let go of her. But I can honor her. She deserves that. She doesn’t deserve to melt away and leave nothing but pain in her wake. She deserves to be remembered; celebrated.”

* * *

We arrive at the falls just before midday. Sam wasn’t sure about leaving Nico with Rev but having him here with us—for this—was not an option.

With the sky so red and sullen, I expected the lake to be the same but, somehow, it remains blue. As if it’s reflecting itself, not the sky.

Tanner walks over to it and trails his fingers in the water. “She’s warm,” he whispers. “Everything else is so cold, but the water is warm.”

Luther throws a bundle of fire onto the sand, and we watch it ignite into a large bonfire. He frowns at it, then glances at me. “So’s this,” he says. “At Rev’s, my heat was useless. Here, it feels the way it should.” He extends his palms, closing his eyes as the warmth lights his face.

“How are we going to do this?” Sam asks.

Tanner steps forward. He looks at the ring he’s holding in his palm. “We could put them in the fire. Scatter the ashes—”

“No,” Kole cuts him off. “No fire. I can’t sift through her ashes for a second time.”

“Water then.” Tanner turns and looks out at the lake. “We had nothing but happy times in that lake. We whisper what we want her to know, then throw them into the water. They can rest there together until she returns. If she does—”

“When she does,” corrects Sam.

“Then I can retrieve them for her. They’ll be resting, but not gone.”

Snow purrs a little. He likes that. Resting but not gone. “It’s a good idea, Tanner,” I say.

The others nod.

“Okay then.” Tanner pads gently toward the water’s edge. We line up beside him, each clutching Nova’s rings. One for each mate. One for each finger.

“Not out loud,” Luther says gruffly. “Think your thoughts privately. We’ve shared a lot, but this should be private.” He taps his head. “When you’re ready, hold out your hand. When we’re all ready, we throw them in unison.”

The rest of us nod in agreement.

Turning my face to the muted sun, I run my fingers over the smooth wooden circle in my hand. I remember her face when I slipped it onto her finger. I remember how she felt in my arms, how her lips felt against mine, how her body fitted me so perfectly. I remember the first time I saw her, when she was dressed in Kole’s sweats. Tired, damp from her shower, but full of a light I’d never seen before.

I will never stop loving you, Little Star.

Snow releases a low-pitched hum.

Neither of us will. We will carry you with us until the end of days.

I keep my eyes closed for a while, breathing slowly, allowing memories of Nova to dance through my head. When I pry them open, I know I’m crying but I don’t try to stop. I hold out my hand and wait for the others to do the same.

When we are all ready, Tanner counts for us.

We pull back our arms and throw. The rings arch up into the sky and catch the light. They turn, spinning in the air. I send a gentle breeze to catch them and pull them closer, then Tanner sends a plume of slowly swirling water up to caress them and carry them down to the lake’s surface.

They bob for a moment, side-by-side, then they disappear.

* * *

We stand for a long time watching the water. Not one of us seems able to turn away. Finally, Tanner looks in the direction of the caves. “Luther? Don’t suppose you left some whiskey in there did you?”

“You don’t drink, kid,” Luther says teasingly.

A calmness has settled over us. Perhaps it’s being away from the epicenter of the town. Perhaps it’s being close to where we were with Nova. Perhaps Rev was right and all we needed was some kind of ritual to help ease the torment in our souls.

Tanner allows himself to laugh a little. “I don’t drink often, but we’re supposed to be making this a celebration, aren’t we? Of Nova’s life? Of what she did for us? We can’t do that with water.”