Page 36 of Musafir Cafe

‘And marriage?’

‘How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t want to get married?’

‘Are you crazy? A baby without marriage?’

‘So, I’ll take care of it. It’s my problem. I am not holding you back. You’re free as always.’

‘You’ll manage it on your own?’

‘I will do it. Will you be able to manage without me?’

‘You couldn’t even find a PG in all these months.’

‘Not that I couldn’t, I didn’t. Because I wanted to stay with you.’

‘I’ll speak to my parents right away. Everything will be sorted. Let’s get married this month, there will be no issue.’

‘You know what your problem is?’

‘What?’

‘You need a reason to stay with me and that reason is marriage, not me. Have you ever thought why marriage exists? Just think for a minute. Assume that we were the last two people in this world. Would we still need to get married to stay together? Marriage never happens between two people. It is always required when there are three people.’

‘Do you know what you’re talking about?’

‘That shaadi-waadi is the biggest show of this world, yaar. Am I going to talk to you differently after marriage? I still speak to you the same way as I do now. You would still irritate me the same way as you do now. What would change, after all?’

‘If nothing would change, why can’t you do it for the happiness of your friends and family?’

‘We should get married for the sake of their happiness? Then shouldn’t we do something for our happiness too?’

‘Yaar, you’re a lawyer, I can’t win arguments with you. But life doesn’t follow logic, you know.’

‘That’s exactly what I am saying. That life doesn’t follow a certain logic. Had that been the case, I would have said yes to marriage long ago. You know we all have just one future. Keep living to save ourselves from going totally nuts. It’s just that I want to lose my sanity in my own way.’

After this conversation, Chandar and Sudha stopped speaking to each other yet again. It was happening quite frequently now. Another week passed in this on-and-off relationship. Chandar now wanted the baby more than the marriage. Every single child fills some random empty corner of the world just by being born. The emptiness of Chandar’s world had separated itself from the emptiness of Sudha’s world. The routes of Chandar and Sudha’s worlds had now reached something of a crossing.

C for Crossing

Chandar resigned from his job without thinking too much about the ‘future’. Actually, thinking about the ‘future’ is almost always futile. Nothing really comes out of it. All this thinking and examining is perhaps a good idea when one has to buy things from the store, not when it comes to living one’s life. Buying something from the market and enquiring about its guarantee period is a useless exercise. We know that life doesn’t come with a guarantee, does it make sense to still want to buy things with a sure-shot guarantee?

Chandar just wanted to get away from that place and go somewhere far away. Where and why, he had no idea or clue. We all face this day some time in our lives. We leave for work, knowing fully well that this isn’t really our destination. We are still lost, despite reaching the correct address every day.

Chandar knew it was not a good idea to leave Sudha alone in this condition. But he didn’t have the gall to stay there. As far as he understood Sudha, he was extremely confident that she would manage on her own. Women manage everything on their own.

Chandar had packed and was about to leave when Sudha asked, ‘When will you be back?’

‘Does that make a difference?’

‘If I said yes, would you stay back?’

‘It’s difficult for me to stay back now. I can’t bear this world, you, the office, or this house. It seems like I have to start everything all over again.’

‘All right, leave then. I have said this before too. You’re free.’

‘Won’t you stop me?’

‘If I do, I am sure you won’t stay. If I don’t stop you, you might just come back.’