Page 32 of Ruthless, But for Her

“An admirable quality, as most avoid that of which they are afraid.”

“Are you afraid of anything?” The question escaped her before she could take it back.

“I am.”

He offered nothing more. Not that she was surprised. But part of Cassia was curious what a man like him could be afraid of.

“You've been out there then? What is it like?”

Ashton was quiet a moment. “Leif took me out past the point once. We had no crew, no cargo. There was nothing to hold onto but the wood.” He paused. “First time I'd been that far with nothing to do but feel it. I was sick before we made it back. He never let me forget it.”

“How long ago was that, when he first came to Mere's End?”

“Six years, near enough.”

“It must've been difficult for him, being a jarl and then, due to circumstances beyond his control, losing everything.”

Ashton seemed to consider that. He looked out to the sea with her and said finally, “If he were here, Leif would say he lost much but gained even more. He's taught the three of us more than we can ever repay him for. Ryker, especially, took to the sea immediately. He’d never been as comfortable on land.”

“You were a reiver?”

“Aye.”

“Since when?”

“Since I was old enough to hold a blade steady.”

She waited for him to soften it. He didn't.

“The first man I killed was twelve summers past. I don't remember his face. But I do remember he didn't beg.”

Cassia couldn’t make herself look away.

He didn't appear bothered by the fact.

The wind had picked up while they sat on the rock, cold enough now to sting.

“We are lucky. De Grey may have blocked our trade routes, but the sea has afforded many more.”

“Why? Why do you do it?”

It was her most insolent question yet, but Cassia refused to take it back. She owed him nothing. This man had taken her against her will. That he was kind to her, Cassia appreciated, but she should be comfortable in a new manor house by now.

That was, if comfortable meant lonely, in danger, and closer to her husband...

“I had little choice. Some are born north of the border, with kin in their clans to appeal to. Others are born south, with at least a crown to call their own. Men and women like me, those born to the border...we have neither.”

“Neither.” Cassia turned the word over. “Is that a grief, or a freedom?”

Ashton's expression didn't change. “Both. Depends on the day.”

“And today?”

He held her gaze a moment too long before he answered. “Today it feels like both at once.”

CHAPTER 19

Ashton