Page 51 of To Love

“Such a thing is rare. I never expected it.”

His face, so handsomely put together, yet hard and fearsome looking at times, softened.

“Your choice of words is never accidental,” he said.

“Nay,” she agreed. “It is not.”

Lila was back.

Expected.

Until now, Elara had assumed she would marry a man both she and her father agreed on. He’d told her once that he’d never force her, even if the king himself suggested it, into a marriage not of her choosing. But love? Nay, she had not expected a love match.

Because she had not thought to fall in love.

Elara thought again of that kiss. Of Alden reaching out for her hand. Of the nights, and mornings, she woke alone in her bed wishing him to be by her side.

Love is rare, child. Your mother and I were lucky. For a time, at least.

She should have asked what it felt like to be in love. But she had not. Elara did not wish it, to feel as her father did, pining for someone for an entire lifetime. Better to focus on what could be controlled rather on what could not.

“Alden,” she whispered. “Do you see this?”

“I do.”

Lila had served Eamon and then Stirling, but just as she was about to move away, Lord Stirling caught the maid’s hand. She paused, looking down at him and leaning over. He whispered something to her, and the maid quickly moved away.

For the remainder of the meal, they watched Lila move among the men. Aside from the exchange with Stirling, however, nothing else she did seemed out of place.

“Elara,” Alden whispered suddenly. “Someone comes.”

Impossible. None used this space, or at least, Elara had never seen anyone up here.

He quickly pulled her to him. Kissing her, Alden did not stop when the voices below them increased in volume. It seemed as if someone were, indeed, just below their position at the bottom of the stairwell.

He kissed her as the low mumbles continued.

He kissed her despite Elara’s growing panic that they would, indeed, be caught.

He kissed her as Elara saw herself riding away from Castle Blackwood, disgraced.

And then, he stopped. The voices had ceased as well. None came up to the gallery, but they’d simply gathered below.

“You wished for an excuse to kiss me,” she teased as the gallery became silent once again.

“Perhaps.”

But Alden’s smile did not reach his eyes. He’d been worried, as she had. To be caught with her? For his reputation? Both, she assumed. Alden no more wished to be disgraced than she.

“We should go separately,” she said.

Alden never asked his silent question. He looked into her eyes, and it was there. Am I not coming to your chamber? But he never said it aloud.

She wished him to come. Tonight, and every night. But Elara wished for something even more.

For her not to love him.

Unfortunately, it might be too late for that particular wish to come true.