Page 71 of Until The Lights Go Out

“Okay, okay. Be nice.” I hated the glares bouncing around the room. Serena’s eyes immediately softened, and she came to my side, throwing an arm around my shoulders.

“But he’s our enemy,” she whined.

“No, no.” I wagged a finger at her. “We work together, it’s all good.” I tried to dismiss it all in a single sentence, to erase the fact that I was pissed off at Theo for ducking interviews and that I was about to wring his neck. I was easy-breezy. And totally not thinking that maybe he was purposefully sabotaging me, the whole ex-rival thing resparking after all this time. Maybe he wanted me to fail or wanted me gone. Sebastian and Serena were both looking at me like I was crazy. Honestly, even Theo looked surprised. Anger resurfaced, but I tried to tamp it down.

“Theo has promised to be on his best behavior for his interview today!” Sebastian announced, breaking the awkward silence after my announcement that it was “all good.” Nothing was good except my best friend being here, but her eyes were still narrowed at Theo, looking like she was threatening death with silent communication.

“Right, Theo?” Sebastian said after digging his elbow into Theo’s side and earning a glare.

“Yeah,” Theo replied with almost zero enthusiasm, making my anger surge again. How could he just not care? He was living the fucking dream, the dream we had both wanted. He did it, he got to the highest mountain, the biggest goal.

“Maybe bring a little more enthusiasm after the race and leave the douchebag routine on the track,” I snapped.

Serena’s head snapped toward me. “Hell yeah! That’s my girl!”

Sebastian was grinning too, but Theo’s expression was shut down, a wash of nothing lay there, only his eyes giving him away. I was surely imagining it again, but he almost looked guilty. Serena linked her arm through mine and tugged me away, not before ramming her shoulder into Theo’s arm and not-so-quietly whispering, “Douche.”

Serena and I walked from the garage, still muttering insults under her breath about Theo while I tried very hard not to turn around. I failed anyway. Just for a second. Theo was still standing where we left him, one hand braced against the edge of the workbench, jaw tight enough I could see the muscle feathering there from across the garage. Sebastian was saying something to him, animated as always, but Theo wasn’t listening. His eyes had drifted again, straight over to me. The look lasted barely a heartbeat before he tore his gaze away, like it burned him. Something twisted sharply in my chest. Annoyance, I told myself immediately. Because honestly? What had been his problem?

One minute he was defending me in front of the entire paddock like he wanted to fight people for breathing in my direction, and the next he was ghosting interviews, disappearing for days, showing up smelling like whiskey and bad decisions. It was like every time we took one step toward each other, he panicked and sprinted ten steps backward. And I was getting really tired of chasing someone who kept acting like caring about me was some kind of punishment.

“Okay,” Serena said slowly once we were out of earshot. “What the hell is going on there?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

I sighed. “Serena⁠—”

“Nope. Don’t ‘Serena’ me.” She stopped walking entirely, turning to face me fully. “You two look like divorced parents fighting at a kid’s soccer game, but like so much yummy tension.”

I barked out a startled laugh despite myself. “That is horrifying.” I rubbed a hand over my face. “I don’t know what’s going on with him.” That part, at least, was true. I didn’t understand how the boy who used to sneak out at midnight just to sit beside me under the stars had somehow become this impossible, frustrating man who acted like every emotion physically pained him.

And worse? I didn’t understand why I still cared so much.

Serena’s expression softened slightly. “Maise…”

“He’s making me feel insane,” I admitted quietly. “One second it feels like…like maybe there’s still something there. Then the next he acts like I don’t matter at all.”

“That’s because he’s emotionally stunted,” she said immediately.

I snorted. “Serena!”

“What? He is.”

She linked our arms again, tugging me forward as we continued walking through the paddock. “You know what I think?”

“I’m scared to ask.”

“I think he’s obsessed with you and too damaged to cope with it.”

I groaned loudly, “Please never say that sentence again.”

“You know I’m right.”

I hated that she maybe was.

I stood near the PitSpark Paddock Report setup, headset on, tablet clutched against my chest, while producers counted down timings in my ear. Normally, this part settled me. Today, my nerves were everywhere. Partly because Serena was watching from the garage, and I desperately wanted her to see me succeed here. Partly because the race strategy projections were already looking volatile, due to a chaotic race start. Kaz needed more points to stay in contention for a championship win this year, and so far, they were not looking great compared to last year.