Page 137 of Until The Lights Go Out

“You absolutely do not have to do this,” he continued softly. “But I thought maybe…” He glanced toward the track. “Maybe it could be fun.”

Fun. God, I couldn’t remember the last time racing had sounded like that.

Theo stepped closer carefully, like he was approaching a frightened animal. “It’s low stakes. They’re not too fast. Everything’s controlled and safe and boringly regulated.”

I laughed shakily through my nerves. “Boringly regulated?”

“Horribly boring.” He nodded seriously. “Honestly, devastating for me, personally.”

I looked back through the glass again. Tiny karts, helmets hanging on a cart, racing stripes painted along the edges of the room, rubber tracks, and bright overhead lights.

Nothing like the violent flashing memories in my head. Nothing like fire and metal and screaming commentators replayed a thousand times online. Just karting.

Theo’s hand found mine slowly. “We could race together again.”

The words lodged directly in my chest. Karting with Theo. Yeah, that sounded like something that I could do. “You really thought this through, huh?” I whispered.

His expression softened. “Racing is something you will always love, Maise; it’s in our blood. If this helps even a little, I don’t know.” He ran a hand through his hair nervously. “I’d do anything for you.” That nearly undid me right there. I was moving before I could stop myself. I grabbed the front of his hoodie and kissed him hard enough to shut both of us up. Theo made a startled noise against my mouth before kissing me back, hands sliding around my waist while I laughed breathlessly into him.

“You’re trouble,” I murmured.

“You love me.”

“Unfortunately.”

His grin against my lips was devastating.

Twenty minutes later, I was sitting in a go-kart with a helmet in my hands about to slide it on. Theo crouched beside me practically vibrating with excitement, snapping photos of me and immediately setting one as his phone background, making me blush furiously.

“You nervous?” he asked gently.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” He nodded like that was the most normal thing in the world. “Then we go slow.”

I stared down at the steering wheel in front of me.

My palms were sweaty. My heart was hammering. Every instinct inside me screamed to run. But underneath the fear…there was something else too, something warmer, something I hadn’t felt in years. I was excited, truly and purely excited to be in a damned go-kart, excited to race Theo again.

Theo must’ve seen the shift happen on my face because his eyes softened. “There she is.”

Emotion climbed thickly into my throat. “Don’t make me cry before karting.”

“No promises.” Then he stood, pulling his helmet on before pointing at me dramatically. “And just so we’re clear, I’m still going to beat you.”

I barked out a laugh. “In your fucking dreams, Bauer.”

The first lap was terrifying, the second was less terrifying, and by the third, I was laughing, loud bursts of pure joy as we went wheel to wheel. The sound ripped out of me unexpectedly as I took a corner too aggressively and Theo shouted something offended from the kart behind me. The air rushed around us while the tires squealed softly against the track, and for one impossible, miraculous moment, I forgot to be afraid. Theo let me win eventually, which I only knew because he was a terrible actor.

“You cheated,” I accused breathlessly afterward while pulling off my helmet.

“I did not.”

“You literally slowed down.”

“I was being gentlemanly.”

“You’re incapable of being gentlemanly.”