Page 52 of Homewrecker

“That’s the problem. You don’t have to ask. I already think about you. I notice when you don’t text me. I wonder how you’re doing. I remember shit you say. I almost called you tonight before you called me.”

I closed my eyes. “And none of that is okay.”

“Why?”

My eyes opened. “Because you’re married!”

“I know that.”

“Do you?”

“Every fucking day.”

“Then act like it.”

All I could hear was his breathing.

“You’re right,” he said.

I hated those words because every time he admitted I was right, I wanted to believe that meant he was good. A good man in a bad situation. A compassionate man making imperfect choices. A man who knew what was right but couldn’t do it yet because someone else was too fragile for him to leave. That version of Caleb became easier and easier to love.

“Go fix your marriage,” I whispered.

A long pause.

“What if I don’t want to?”

My stomach tightened. “Then end it.”

“I told you—”

“I know what you told me.” I cut him off. “Ravenna needs time. She’s grieving. She’s not ready. Your family is all she has. I know.”

I knew the script by heart now. Every reason. Every explanation. Every reason why he was miserable enough to call me but somehow not miserable enough to leave.

I closed my eyes. “This is bullshit.”

“This is something special.”, he said back. I looked at the clock and it was 12:14 a.m. I had been on the phone with another woman’s husband for over an hour talking about things that Ravenna probably didn’t know about me because Ravenna didn’t know there was a me to know.

My stomach turned. “Caleb.”

“Yeah?”

“If Ravenna walked up to you right now and saw your phone, would you tell her who you’re talking to?”

He said nothing, and it was all I needed. I nodded even though he couldn’t see me.

“Exactly.”

“Blair—”

I hung up. The phone rang again, but I declined it.

My heart was beating too fast. I didn’t need to sleep with Caleb to become a secret. I already was one.

I picked up my phone and scrolled through our messages. It was full of things that meant nothing individually. But together, they looked like a relationship trying very hard not to call itself one.

I stared at the screen and one question came to me.