Page 86 of Twisted Control

My gaze drifts to the window. The guest house sits empty across the lawn, looking strangely abandoned in the morning light. The sight makes my chest ache in a way I really don’t want to examine too closely.

With a heavy sigh, I open my laptop and click into the forum. The girls have been asking for updates. My fingers hover over the keys for a long moment before I start typing.

Update: It’s over now.

He’s gone. He’s finished working for my family. He asked me to leave with him…and I said no.

In my defense, he sprung it on me with about thirty seconds’ warning. Some people need more than half a minute to decide to abandon their entire life for a man.

He’s deeply unsuitable anyway. Crude, bossy, impossible. The kind of man who says whatever he thinks without caring about social rules or basic decorum. Half the time I wanted to throttle him.

But he did have his moments. He was gentle when it mattered. Attentive. Infuriatingly good in bed. He made me feel safe to be completely myself and he never once made me feel like I was too much. He actually looked at me like I was the best thing he’d ever seen.

No one’s ever looked at me like that before.

He made me laugh. He made me feel alive. He made me feel understood.

I’m actually not sure I ever felt genuinely happy until I met him.

I stop typing, my eyes going a little fuzzy. I wipe them and continue.

But none of that changes the reality that this was never going to work long-term. He isn’t a sensible choice for me. Our lives are completely different. The whole thing was reckless and doomed from the start.

So this is the right decision.

I’ll move on.

I hit send.

The replies flood in.

@user4821: girl, this CANNOT be real

@candidlyhonest: Oh my God, leave that man alone. I’m genuinely irritated on his behalf after reading this.

@redflagreport: “I’m not sure I ever felt genuinely happy until I met him” followed immediately by “so obviously I rejected him” is honestly unhinged behavior.

@anonymousowl: He made you feel safe, seen, desired, loved, and happy? Babe. Women would physically fight you for this man.

@chaosandwine: Sorry, but you sound exhausting. That man practically worshipped you and you’re acting like the real issue is table manners???

@practicalprincess: The saddest part is that I bet he believed you loved him back.

I stare at that last comment and everything inside me goes horribly still. My fingers slip off the keyboard. A slow, burning heat crawls up my neck and floods my face. The shame hits me so hard it actually hurts—a sharp, twisting pain right in the center of my chest.

Then, just as quickly, I shove the feeling down. Hard.

I slam the laptop shut before I can read another word.

The day drags on in this horrible, suffocating silence. I’ve painted my nails twice, washed my hair until it squeaked, and sat in the bath until the water went cold. When did my life become this empty? I’ve been rattling around this enormous house by myself since breakfast, and the quiet is slowly crushing me.

So when the gate buzzer finally sounds, I practically sprint downstairs to answer it.

It’s Jasmine.

Relief floods through me as I buzz her in. Finally. I knew she’d come back.

“Grace!” She beams, air-kissing both my cheeks as she comes in. She looks like herself today in a matching tweed set with a cropped square-neck top and a tiny skirt. “You look…well, we can fix that.”