Page 71 of Finding His Silver Fox Daddy

Tears burned at the backs of my eyes again. Shit—I thought I’d cried myself out last night. I started shaking my head, not sure if I was trying to refute his claim or tell him I was, in fact, not okay, but once I started, I couldn’t stop. And as my head shook faster, the tears finally fell. Soon, I was sobbing.

Ethan reached for me, pulling me into his arms. I laid my head against the light-orange cashmere sweater showing through his open jacket, and he gently rubbed the back of my head as he softly offered calming reassurances.

But everything he was saying felt wrong. No, it wasn’t going to be okay. No, I wasn’t okay. No, there was no fixing this.

Okay, logically I knew that last part probably wasn’t true, but right now, it sure felt like it. I needed to talk to Henry about what really happened, but I wasn’t ready to hear that he liked me well enough to fuck me—or even let me fuck him—but he owed his time and energy to this Carl instead of me. Because how else could that phone call have been interpreted?

Again, I needed to talk to him. But I couldn’t. Not yet.

Tears slowing, I lifted my head off Ethan’s chest and looked up at him. I was sure I was a mess, but I knew he didn’t care. He was the Daddies and Subs Club’s surrogate Daddy, and he filled the role well.

I sniffed, swiping at my nose. “You can tell Henry I’m okay. Physically, anyway. I’ll reach out to him soon, and we’ll talk. But I’m not quite ready to open that wound yet.”

Ethan nodded, his eyes back his usual compassionate gaze. “I can tell him that. Do you want to talk about it?” His eyes searched mine as he asked, probably looking for the truth.

I shook my head once. “No, I’m okay. I need to sort things out in my head first. But I appreciate you checking on me.”

He smiled. “Always, Tris. To be honest, when you didn’t answer my calls, either, I was just about as concerned as Henry. Cameron didn’t even have any luck reaching you. Can you please at least tell someone when you’re going no-contact for a while? We love you, and we worry when we don’t know if you’re okay.”

Wetly, I smiled back. “Of course. I’m sorry for scaring you, Ethan. And for scaring Henry and Cameron and probably Sam and whoever else was worried about me. Sometimes I forget I have a family who cares about me now.”

“Damn right, you do.” He flashed a shit-eating grin. “And don’t forget it.”

I chuckled a little in spite of myself.

Ethan and I parted, and I swiped to clear my eyes and dry my cheeks. He handed me a few tissues from the box I kept on the side table next to the couch so I could finish the job.

“Thanks,” I said, using the tissues to wipe up the last of my tears and blow my nose.

“Of course.”

Our conversation seemed over, but Ethan simply glanced around, making no move to leave.

I sighed good-naturedly. “Just ask.”

“Okay, good, because I’m dying to know. You and Henry?” Ethan’s eyebrows waggled playfully. “How did this happen? And how long has it been going on?”

I laughed now, and though it sounded soggy, I was glad to find I felt a little lighter when I did. “Not long. Well . . . okay, I guess that’s not true. We’ve been kind of on then off then on again since, um, October? Or really before then. He . . . well, he found out about my cam site before he knew it was me, since I obscure my identity and everything. We had a thing online, I guess, until he figured out it was me. Turns out, he’s been crushing on me for a few years now. And I have a thing for silver foxes, so . . .” I shrugged, letting my words trail off.

Ethan’s eyes sparkled, his delight obvious with his almost-squeal. It was so unlike him that I laughed again. “This is the best thing ever.”

Hyperbole was also not his thing, so I tilted my head, studying him. “And what’s going on with you?”

He waved me off, but I knew that was a red herring. Something was going on. “I’m just excited about a business venture I have cooking. May turn into nothing, but it’s a really good idea. I can’t share anything about it quite yet—my partners have asked me to keep things quiet until we hash out more of the details.”

I raised both of my eyebrows at that. “Partners?”

He scoffed. “Business partners. Friends. Nothing more.”

I narrowed my eyes at him for a minute, sussing him out. Then it hit me. “But you’d like it to be more?”

And Ethan, for the first time since I’d known him, blushed. He turned away from me, studied the simple Christmas tree I’d set up beside the fireplace in front of one of my living room’s floor-to-ceiling windows, then cleared his throat. “Enough about me.” He turned back around, looking me directly in the eye. “Be sure to talk to Henry. The man’s head over heels for you, you know.”

I sighed, sobering quickly. “I know,” I whispered. “That’s what scares me.”

Ethan tipped his head to one side now, studying me a second time. I shifted my weight under his too-observant gaze, crossing my arms over my chest again. Definitely not feeling insecure. “Why does that scare you?”

I sighed, wondering if I was ready to unload this on Ethan. We were friends, had been for a while, but were we the kind of friends who shared secrets like this?