Page 33 of Legends and Longing

Klynn must have thought so too but his words were careful even for us. “I’m glad the portal opening seems to have changed that for your people.”

Shiloh let out a deep breath and smiled, not seeming to understand our feelings. “Me too. But…but since I don’t have any practical experience, I don’t know what to expect.”

That was…yes…horrifying was the correct word.

“Like…like how long to expect it to form and…and stuff like that.” Our mate started out calm, but as his thoughts seemed to go faster, I could feel his anxiety growing.

He was shutting down again.

Would our finger safewords help?

“Raxius? Move your hand to the back of his neck and grip it firmly. You’re just trying to hold him tight enough to remind his brain that you’re with him and you’ll keep him safe.” Agent Murphy was surprisingly good in difficult situations because his tone did not show stress at all as Raxius moved his hand to obey. “Yes, that looks right. Fear isn’t always easy to manage, so we just have to help give him ways of feeling what we call grounded.”

Klynn indicated agreement and kept his gaze on Shiloh. “Fear of this nature seems to be like flying without wings and without a way to control the power. You are holding him to the ground and making him feel safe.”

Agent Murphy smiled but I did not understand the exact expression yet. “Yes. I like that explanation.”

“Thank you.” Klynn was clearly pleased with whatever he sensed from his mate.

My mate was the most important, however, so we waited as Agent Murphy showed him exaggerated deep breaths. It was interesting to see that Shiloh seemed to need a reminder about how to breathe, but it worked and was educational to watch.

But if visual reminders were helpful, a touch-based example had to be more helpful to someone from Earth.

Carefully moving my hands, I placed one on his chest and watched his fingers to see if he used his visual safewords. When they stayed still on his lap and he pushed his chest against my hand, I began making slow circles and soft sounds as low as I could.

As Shiloh’s breathing evened out and I could feel his anxiety easing, Klynn spoke again. “The bond is different for everyone. I have seen it connect deeply almost instantly. The mates in question met at a planet-wide gathering we hold every five years.”

I hadn’t gone to one of those since I was very young and confident I would meet my mate. It seemed I had, but not in the way I had expected.

“They met. They said hello. The bond fell into place. That was it.” Klynn shrugged as Shiloh giggled. “It was odd to watch. Like…like going to Walmart and coming home mated instead of with cereal.”

The example did not make sense to me, but Shiloh smiled wider. “I take it that’s not how it is for everyone?”

“No.” Klynn looked as if he wanted to shake his head. “Most matings I have seen from the beginning go slower. The couple or group shows special interest in each other. They talk. The bond grows.”

Pausing, he looked between us.

“If they are waiting for their third, for example, the first two that meet are sometimes…there is an English word…oh, in limbo.” A form of waiting. Yes, Klynn was correct. “They are waiting to complete the bond until they find the rest of their family.”

Should I have known what the feeling was?

Did it feel difficult to others who were waiting for their third?

“Waiting?” Raxius seemed to be as confused as I was but Klynn did not appreciate our difficulty.

“Yes. The bond begins to fully form when all the parties who will become one are present.” Klynn was clearly frustrated, but I ignored it since that was his usual behavior.

“There is some belief that fear or emotions of that nature will slow the bond to give the parties time for discussion, but studying that is difficult.” Klynn paused again, but I was not going to discuss my past emotional difficulties with Raxius.

Glancing over at my frustrating mate, he seemed to be having similar thoughts. He might not be willing to open up either, but looking at Shiloh, I thought he might be ready to discuss his emotions and needs.

“Why don’t we give you guys some privacy.” Agent Murphy’s suggestion caused us to nod, practicing their nonverbal language. Agreeing to have them leave so quickly was rude on our part, but they did not show any frustration.

In fact, they showed polite manners as they left, making sure Shiloh knew he could ask them questions and gave him others to depend on.

There was a small but loud sense of frustration that he would need others, but logically I reminded myself that when our mate had such high needs that he was given two mates, it was only right that we surround him with as much help as possible.

I was smart to understand that, but it did not help me to know what to say when we were finally alone and standing in what Shiloh called my living room.