Page 71 of Operation: Ogre

“Well, you can keep talking with me. I will always be here if you need to vent. But…”

“But I should tell my siblings,” I said with a sigh. I closed my eyes. Dan was right.

“Do you want me to call Carter?” he asked.

Dan had his number, as well as Samantha’s. He could call them for me. And I needed to do this. I needed to talk to Carter and Sam. It would probably make me feel better, and both of them would support me. Taking a deep breath, I asked in a small voice, “Can you call them and tell them I need them in my dorm room?”

“Of course. Without even talking to them, I know they’ll be there in a few minutes.”

And Dan was right.

Less than five minutes later Carter was pounding on my door and shouting in Korean, “Chris! Are you okay? So help me, I will break down this door if you don’t respond in two fucking seconds. Chris!”

“I’m alive, Carter.” I groaned as I stood up. “Don’t break anything.”

“Open the door,” he snapped, but I could hear the worry. Carter had always been overprotective of Sam and me; time hadn’t dimmed that. At all.

The second I pulled the door open, Carter shoved his way in. His hands clamped onto my shoulders as his eyes scoured me. He turned me one way, then the other. He asked, “Are you sure you’re not hurt?”

Samantha was the one who responded. “While Dan did make it sound rather dire, clearly Chris isn’t dying. Calm the fuck down.”

Carter shot her a glare.

I ignored their sniping at each other and just stared at them. A soft, comfortable warmth bloomed in my gut and spread throughout my limbs. My siblings didn’t banish my anxiety or fix anything, but suddenly I didn’t feel so alone. No matter what happened, Carter and Samantha would stand right beside me. I would never be without them.

“I’ve been struggling,” I confessed, and both of them fell silent. I rubbed the back of my neck. “I’ve…”

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked, coming to my side and resting her hand on my arm.

My eyes closed, and I moved toward Jaxon’s bed, snagging his pillow and wrapping my arms around it. His scent helped me calm down a bit. I looked at my siblings and told them about my panic attacks and the complete and total dread I had for the future. By the end of it, I was lying on Jaxon’s bed and Carter and Samantha were sitting on my bed.

“And then when I think about Jaxon possibly leaving me…” My breath immediately caught in my throat. I shook my head as I gripped his pillow. “I can’t handle anything without him.”

Sam’s eyebrows were furrowed. “Why do you think he’d leave?”

“Why would he stay?”

“Because he’s obsessed with you,” Carter said as he stood up. He crouched in front of me. “Whether friendship or romance, Jaxon isn’t going anywhere. You are way too important to him.”

I took a deep inhale. “Really?”

My sister rolled her eyes. “Yes. Gods, you’re stupid sometimes.”

I flipped Sam off; she just laughed. Ignoring her, I turned back to Carter. Trying to gather what little courage I had, I told him, “I think I’m in love with Jaxon.”

He just smiled. “Of course you are.”

“So Jaxon, that’s what’s making your anxiety so bad?” Sam asked.

That would be an easy out, but it wasn’t true at all. “He isn’t the reason. He’s part of it, but it’s more the whole future.” I sighed, rolling to my back to avoid Carter’s probing gaze. “I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I haven’t even picked a damn major.” I peeked at both of them. “You both know what you want. Neither of you have any issues and are shifters in a world full of monsters. Here I am, the only human in the family, and I have no idea what to do or what I want, and now, I have anxiety.”

Carter snorted. “That’s bullshit.”

“Complete bullshit,” Samantha added, then continued, “You know why I’m a sports education major? I wasn’t good enough to play soccer on the college level and it fucking broke my heart. I’m doing this to have some connection to the sport I love.”

My mouth dropped open. “I-I didn’t know.”

“Also, I have no idea if I want to do anything with this damn degree or if I’m just clinging to something I should be letting go.”