Page 40 of Operation: Ogre

“I thought you wanted Aaron.” What was happening right now?

“I don’t. Not anymore. Not since basically the beginning of this plan.”

Hope and fear burned bright in my soul and twined together so tightly they were basically indistinguishable from each other. Gathering what little courage I possessed into my very shaky hands, I asked, “And you want me?”

“I like you,” Jaxon whispered. “A lot. More than anyone ever before.” He took my hand, placing it over his pounding heart. “I want us.”

God, he was so much braver than I was. Or more willing to risk everything. Risk us. My throat was strangled with emotion. The words locked in my throat. I wanted to tell him the same; I really did. I didn’t know how to, though. Because what if… What if we didn’t work and he no longer wanted me in his life? I couldn’t handle that. I needed him. Right now, I felt like everything was spinning out of control. I was at a major crossroads that would lead to my future, and I was balking. Only Jaxon made sense right now, and to lose that? I wasn’t sure if I was brave enough.

All I could say was, “I’m scared.”

“Me too.” Jaxon’s fingers tightened around mine. “I don’t want to lose you, Chris. It would kill me.”

Tears burned the backs of my eyes. I wetly chuckled. “You never will, because it would gut me too.”

“Good.”

I burst into peals of laughter, even as emotion built in my stomach. “Misery does love company.”

“Are you miserable, babe?”

Unable to help it, I cupped his cheek with my free hand and dragged my thumb over his lovely iridescent skin that almost glimmered like gemstones. “Never with you.”

“Good.” His sweet smile made me want to attack him with kisses or squeezes. He made me fucking feral. “I never want to make you sad.”

“You don’t.”

“So…” He swallowed. “Can I keep…”

“Keep?” I pressed. I honestly didn’t know where he was going with this.

“Pursuing you?”

I felt my knees buckle, and I gripped even tighter onto Jaxon to keep myself upright. “You’ve been pursuing me?”

“Of course.” Jaxon tucked a stray lock behind my ear before tracing the shell of my ear. It made my knees weak. “Romance doesn’t just happen. You have to make it happen.” He pressed a gentle kiss to the shell of my ear, and I shivered. “And you’re worth making it happen with. More than worth it.”

Tears threatened to spill, but I fought them. No one had ever wanted me like that. And he wasn’t anyone, he was fucking Jaxon. “I don’t know yet, about us, you know, romantic-like. But I do know that you will always be the most important person to me.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“More to the point, are you okay with chasing me, big guy, when… when I’m so scared? So unsure?” I shook my head before he could answer, not wanting him to take back his words. “As long as you’re okay with me not being sure, then yes, I’m fine with it. Pursue away.”

“I’m fine with it. I really am. I just like you, Chris. A lot.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. A tear tried to escape, but I kept it at bay. Someone—no, not someone—Jaxon wanted to make it happen with me. He wanted me. He liked me. The best person, the most attractive person, the sweetest person, the cutest person, my most important person, wanted me.

He shrugged, his eyes not leaving mine, but I saw a tightening near the corners. Embarrassment? Stress? Worry? I didn’t quite know, and I hated that I didn’t.

“So, no Aaron?” I needed confirmation.

“As a friend, sure,” he replied, shrugging once again. “Anything else? No.”

My shoulders relaxed and my gut unclenched. “Okay.” I nodded. “Good to know. I like all the information.”

“All the information?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“Wipe that smirk off,” I ordered, poking his cheek. “I like information.”