Page 60 of Needed You

I smirk at her. “Nice.”

“Ha! I know. But seriously, what’s up with you two?” I know full well what she’s asking about.

I fill my sister in on the last few days and about what happened at The Copper Exchange over the weekend. It feels good to talk it through with someone.

“I really want something more with him,” I finally admit. “I like him a lot.”

Lindsey is beaming. “Lev, I’m so happy for you. I can tell that you really like him.” Her words are genuine, and it makes me happy. “You seem really serious about these feelings. But can I just say one thing?”

I prepare myself for her to tell me what she always does, but she surprises me with something else instead.

“If you guys are going to be messing around,” she says, “maybe it would help to know where his mind is. I think you need to talk.”

This is nothing that I haven’t already thought about. “I know. I just don’t know why he’s being so hot and cold and then he was fucking kissing that guy at the bar and . . .” I run my hand through my hair. “I like him a lot, Linds. I’m starting to feel things for him. Real things, not I-need-to-save-him things.”

She smiles. “I can tell, and that’s perfect.”

Lindsey goes on to share that she’s seen him at the diner once or twice with a guy, and by her description, it’s the same guy as at the bar. That sends a jolt of something unpleasant down my spine. She says they are not all over each other or seemingly a loving couple, but confirms that he’s been there, with someone who’s not me. The thought makes me kind of sick to my stomach, but I know that I have no reason or right to be upset.

I have no say in what he chooses to do. We’ve messed around a few times, and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. I don’t normally do casual hookups, so the fact that I’ve done anything with Dare without commitment is surprising. It feels much more special and important to me than a random hookup, though. I want to be his, and I want him to feel like he’s mine. I think we’re going to need to have the “exclusive” chat soon if I’m going to survive this. I want to, and that really might be where things are headed. For me, at least.

Hearing about Dare with someone else has my stomach all in knots, however, so I tell Lindsey that it’s time for me to get back to work. She gives me a hug, and I say, “I’m so happy for you, sis.”

“Hang in there, Lev,” she says as I hug her back. “Something good is going to come out of this situation with Dare. I know it.”

I’m not sure I agree, but I am enjoying getting to know him again, and I hope for much more time to continue the opportunity.

Chapter 30

Darian

Ididn’t sleep at all last night. I couldn’t stop thinking about my parents and how they want to sell the house. They want to just throw away all of the years of memories and treasures and . . . life that we’ve built here. I don’t know why I’m surprised, though. It’s very much like them now to act like this.

But what I don’t understand is how they could just walk away from me. I shouldn’t care that much about the house, but what hurts and what I can’t figure out is why they completely abandoned me after we lost Nate. I cried for a few hours last night, grieving my brother and my family again. I don’t know how many times this has happened, but it’s been too many. As my parents started pulling away, everything stopped. There was no hugging, no hands resting on my shoulder, no words of affirmation, nothing. They went cold. My mom was always hugging Nate and me when we were younger, running her hands through our hair and tucking us in at night.

I mean, I don’t even remember if they hugged me at the funeral.

I miss that touch and affection so much, and I know that’s why I crave things from people like Lance and Jenna from the party a few weeks ago. Sometimes I need to be touched so badly it aches. The way Lev held me on the dock and how we were so close when we rode his motorcycle were like pouring a thick, healing liquid into my soul.

But not having that, especially last night, when I needed it the most, was too much. I cried, praying sleep would take me, but it didn’t. Then today, I’ve been moving through everything on autopilot, exhausted and empty and hurting, feeling like I’m crawling out of my skin. When evening comes and the house is dark and quiet, it’s too much.

I need peace.

I need comfort.

I need Lev and his touch.

Wiping away the tears that have already started to fall, I grab my car keys and leave.

Chapter 31

Levon

It’s been a long workday, and my body is tired. All the bending, crouching, using tools, lifting, and putting my body into odd positions when something is up on the lift or a jack was really taxing today, and I’m relieved when I’m finally able to lock up for the night and head home.

Back at my apartment, I take a nice, hot shower, then throw on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt and make myself some dinner. I’m happy to settle onto the couch with the remote, and I waste time all evening, flipping through channels and trying not to think about things with Dare, yet wanting to only think about Dare.

Later, I’m at the bathroom sink, brushing my teeth, when I hear what might be a knock on the door. I spit and rinse out my mouth, listening to see if that was what the sound was. I hear the knock again, and I quickly rinse my toothbrush and turn off the water, then pad over to the front door and open it. My breath catches in my chest.