Page 58 of Needed You

He was gone when I fell apart completely, and I’ve spent a lot of time and energy trying to piece myself together again. I need to handle this on my own.

I look up at the dark sky and let my eyes linger on the sparkling stars. Resting my head back on the chair, I tell myself that wherever Nate is, he’s around and his company will have to do for now. I sit in silence, drinking my hot chocolate and just . . . being.

I must doze off at some point, because when I lift my head sometime later, I’m completely freezing. I check the time on my phone and am unsurprised to see that it’s nearly midnight, which means that I definitely fell asleep. I get up and grab my mug, then head back inside, shivering and chuckling at myself for falling asleep outside in the cold like the dork I am.

Once upstairs, I strip down to my underwear and crawl under the covers to warm up. I’m still shivering as my phone buzzes from the nightstand. Unlocking it, I see a text message notification. For just a second, my heart starts beating faster. But then I see Ryan’s name, not Lev’s. My disappointment would be real except the text says something that makes me laugh.

Ryan: Text him Dare.

Me: Sigh. Shouldn’t you be in bed?

Ryan: Katie and I are right here, baby.

Me: Spare me the details. barf emoji Good night.

Ryan: TEXT HIM

I roll my eyes and put my phone down, taking a deep breath. I know I’m being ridiculous, but Ryan is right. Isn’t part of being in a relationship that you talk to the other person? Rely on them? That’s not as easy for me to do as it should be. But I finally decide to listen to my friends and reach out to Lev.

I pick my phone back up and type out a text. My hands are shaking, and I think it’s because I’m truly accepting that this could be something. This is a big step for me.

Me: Hey.

I wait for a while until the bubbles start folding in threes.

Lev: Hey yourself.

Me: Did I wake you?

Lev: Nope. Just lying here.

Me: How are you?

Lev: Better now. wink emoji

I let out a short, breathy laugh.

Me: Why’s that?

It takes him some time to respond.

Lev: Why do you think, Lycan?

A feeling of ease floods through me.

Me: thinking emoji

Lev: You like emojis.

Me: GIF of Step Brothers YUP meme

Lev: Oh, he’s a joker.

I’m laughing out loud at this point and can’t seem to stop the goofy smile from spreading across my face.

Me: I just wanted to check in and say hi.

Lev: I’m glad you did.