Page 29 of Needed You

“Yeah, Lev. Take it just like that. Suck me off, baby. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

I brace one arm on the wall of the shower. My dick pulses, and jets of cum shoot out, hitting the shower wall and floor. I milk myself until there’s nothing more coming out of me. My breathing is heavy and rapid, and I rest my forehead against the cool tile to come down from the high of the strong orgasm.

Eventually, I let go of my dick and wash my hands, then I turn off the water and get out. I wrap a towel around my waist.

With my hand, I clear a streak of steam from the heat of the shower off the mirror, and I barely recognize myself as I stare at my reflection. My cheeks are flushed from the hot water and my moment with myself and Imaginary Lev. I have no idea why he makes me feel like he does. I just know I really enjoy Lev’s company and the way he looks at me. There’s something about him that draws me in. It always has.

I pick up my toothbrush and start brushing, trying to push my thoughts in a different direction. But they stubbornly want to stay on Lev.

I don’t think I have a “type” where men are concerned, but if I did, maybe it would be Lev. He has similar hair and eyes as Lance, so maybe that’s part of my “type” too. But that dimple Lev has . . . it doesn’t even allow Lance in the same category.

Spitting into the sink, I chuckle to myself and shake my head. I rinse my toothbrush and my mouth and turn off the water and then the light. I pull on a fresh pair of boxers and use the towel to get my hair as dry as I can. After tossing the towel into the hamper, I grab a drink and crawl into bed.

It takes a while for me to fall asleep, more thoughts of Lev circling in my head. Am I overreacting? Is he really just a nice guy? Could he be interested in some kind of relationship? I convince myself how ridiculous that is because he was nothing but a crush to me as a kid. He was also Nate’s best friend, and he’s just trying to be nice and probably feels sorry for me. With a sigh, I pull the covers up over my head.

It’s nights like these where my body aches for another warm body against me. It literally hurts, a gnawing feeling that doesn’t seem to go away. Nothing I do seems to satisfy it, and I’m kicking myself for even wishing I could have something like that on a consistent basis. I want someone against me, holding my hand, feeling their lips on my neck and gentle touches all over my body. God, I want it . . . No, I need it. I feel pathetic and stupid for even thinking that maybe Lev would be the one to eventually give me that. My body aches for touch, but I have nothing.

So I do what I’ve learned to do and shove it down, rolling over and trying to go to sleep.

Chapter 17

Levon

“Imean, Lev—there was like, dressing and red sauce and garlic butter all over them!” Lindsey’s eyes are wide as she recounts a moment when her coworker dropped a tray of food on one of the tables last night. “I felt so bad, and the customers were shocked.”

“I bet,” I say, laughing along with her as I pull into the parking lot of Giuseppe’s, an upscale Italian place in Cedar Grove, the next town over.

We haven’t hung out just the two of us in a while, and I know she loves to be served and pampered a little bit, since she’s usually the one providing the service. I’m happy to take her out for some one-on-one time. I also haven’t heard anything from Dare since a week ago at the lake, and I’m frustrated about that. He hasn’t responded to any of my texts, and trust me, I’m trying. I thought a night out with my sister could help put that into perspective.

I’m trying to pay attention and be engaged with what she says, but I still can’t figure out what happened the night at the lake. I’m truly at a loss. I know Dare has a lot going on with the project he was talking about, so I assume he’s working. I also know he has friends that he hangs out with, so maybe he’s just busy. I wonder if he’s seeing someone. I didn’t even consider that, and I don’t know why the thought gives me a weird sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach. He was pretty up close and personal with the guy at the bar a few weeks ago.

And actually, I do know why I feel this way. Because regardless of who he is or what he stands for, there’s something about Darian Archer that I’m attracted to. Maybe I shouldn’t be. Maybe knowing that I blame myself for not being there for Nate the night he died has given me a soft spot for the brother he left behind. But whatever it is, I can’t stop thinking about Dare, even though he’s so outside of my normal type and my comfort zone.

It’s busy when we head inside, but we’re seated and have our drinks already ordered in just a few minutes. Lindsey grabs a roll from the bread basket on our table, rips a piece off, and shoves it into her mouth. “So,” she says through the bread, “what’s new?”

I chuckle at my sister. “The shop is doing really well, and I love it there, Linds. I have so many ideas that I want to do to make the space better and more functional. I really want to bring in more of the younger twenty-something crowd, so I’m working on some ideas as to what I could do for them. I just haven’t solidified anything yet.”

She listens intently and only pulls her gaze from me when the server, whose name tag says Julian, comes over to our table. He’s tall and built, eyes a gorgeous chocolate brown that look like hot cocoa. I’m definitely checking him out, but it’s immediately clear that he doesn’t have eyes for me. Nope. He’s caught up on my sister. And she’s giggling like a twelve-year-old.

I clear my throat to break up their conversation, and then we finish ordering our meals. As he gathers our menus and walks away, he throws a wink at Lindsey. We watch him go over to the terminal and put our order in, and then he disappears into the kitchen. I turn my eyes to my sister, and her cheeks are crimson.

“What?” she asks before taking a big gulp of her drink.

I laugh, throwing a sugar packet at her. “He’s cute. Get his number,” I tease.

“Lev, I leave in a few months. I can’t be just starting something now!”

“Linds, no one said you had to marry the dude. Just get his number and have some fun.” Right when that last sentence leaves my mouth, Julian arrives back at our table, and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing.

Julian smiles brightly at me and then at my sister. She’s beet red and refuses to make eye contact with him. He sets our food down and asks if there’s anything else we need, and we both give him a quick “no, thank you.”

“Oh my god, Lev!” she exclaims when he leaves. “You’re so . . . embarrassing!” She’s laughing, though, and I know this is how my sister is. Deep down, she loves that he heard it, and if she has her way, she’ll be leaving here tonight with Julian’s number.

We dive into our food and eat for a few minutes in silence before Lindsey asks, “So, anything new on the dating front?”

I shake my head and pick up my drink.

“How’s Dare?” she asks innocently.