Page 91 of You Again

“I didn’t say that!”

“Then it felt bad?” she says, jotting something into her notebook.

“I didn’t say that either,” I squeal. “Don’t write that down!”

“I’m not writing anything down, Rosalie.” But she has pen to paper.

I cross my arms and glare at her. “It’s confusing, that’s all. I’m not even sure he remembers saying it.”

“Did you ask him?”

“No,” I scoff, sounding a little like my teenage self.

“Did you tell Fran about it? What were her thoughts?”

You know, sometimes I think I should be paying Fran for therapy. Dr. Case refers to her often enough. And Fran I could pay in strawberry lip gloss and Diet Coke.

“I didn’t tell Fran,” I say, unable to keep the grouch from my tone. “I’m telling you.”

“What are your reservations, Rosalie?”

“Who said I have reservations?”

“If you haven’t told Fran and she’s the person that, by your own admission, you tell everything, and you’re denying any kind of emotion over Zev’s declaration, then it seems as if you might be harboring reservations.”

“I am harbor free,” I tell her, my fingers curling into my palms.

She shuts her eyes for two seconds, as if finding her Zen with a pesky kid. “Okay then,” she says, opening them up again and focusing on me.

“It’s just, it hasn’t been very long. I didn’t even realize I liked Zev because I was still harboring feelings for Robert. And now he’s throwing out I love yous.” I roll my eyes, tossing my hands in the air—I mean, as long as I’m throwing a fifteen-year-old fit. “I’m telling you it was because of all the Benadryl in his system.”

“So, then what’s the problem?” Dr. Case crosses her arms—I think in return to my rolled eyes.

I pull in a breath, my nostrils flaring. “Maybe I liked hearing it.”

She uncrosses her legs and leans forward a few inches, eyes on me. “Your family doesn’t say they love you?”

“Of course they do. Mom, Dad, Grammy, Fran—I hear I love you every dumb day of my life.”

She blinks, giving me a second to think. “Okay.”

I huff. “I don’t know, Janet,” I say, trying out Dr. Case’s first name. Huh. I really have turned into a teenage girl. Maybe my retrograde amnesia is regressing me in age. “I guess I just liked hearing him say it.”

She bubbles with a laugh. “Okay. And what’s wrong with that, Rosalie? You clearly have feelings about liking him saying it. What are they?”

“It’s too soon.”

“Says who? Last I looked, you are an adult. One who knows her own mind⁠—”

I sputter a scoff and tap my broken head. “Good one.”

“I’m earnest. You know who you are even with the loss of a few years. You know who you want to be. Why wouldn’t you know who you want to be with?”

“Because not all that long ago I thought I wanted to be with Robert. Robert who cheated on me. Robert who asked me out though he’s married. Robert who flirted with me right in front of his wife.”

“Rosalie, life isn’t an experiment. It’s a journey. This journey of amnesia, of learning who Robert is, of finding yourself again, it has led you to Zev. You’re not supposed to be afraid of the journey. You’re supposed to enjoy it.”

Dr. Case has me thinking… I should tell Fran what Zev said. Why wouldn’t I? I would have before. She’ll like him. In fact, why haven’t I ever introduced them?