Page 111 of Mine After Midnight

The roads are almost empty when I leave the park. The mechanical creaking, the music, the voices, and the screams all become quiet as I pull on my helmet. Only the low rumble of my bike cuts through. The air is cooler now, carrying that stillness that only exists in the hours just before dawn. Most of the town is asleep. I like it that way. I’ve been itching to get back out on my bike.

The engine growls beneath me as I pull onto the road. The moment the wind hits my chest, something inside me loosens. Riding has always done that for me. There’s a kind of peace in it. It’s just the road, the engine, and the night air around me. Streetlights streak past in glowing lines as I pick up speed, the town blurring in my vision. A few cars pass here and there, but mostly I’m alone gliding through empty streets. The rush settles in quickly. I feel freedom in the quiet thrill of moving fast through a sleeping world.

But still there’s something hollow in me that the ride doesn’t quite fill. I’m lost once more without Bryn. She slips into my thoughts as always, relentlessly and unavoidably. I haven’t heard from her in nearly two weeks now. I meant what I told myself that night when I decided to let her go. Every instinct in my body has fought against it since, but love doesn’t mean trapping someone. It means letting them choose, even if the choice breaks you.

I take the winding road out of town, and the engine roars louder as the hill climbs higher. Trees blur past on either side, their shadows long and black in the moonlight. Up ahead, the lookout comes into view. It’s a place I’ve stopped at a hundred times over the years, a quiet stretch of road that opens up to a view of the entire town below.

Slowing the bike down, I pull into the gravel shoulder, the engine rumbling softly before I finally kill it. Silence settles instantly. Swinging my leg off the bike, I lean back against it, my helmet resting on the seat beside me. Below me, the town stretches out in a sea of tiny lights. From up here, everything looks peaceful.

A slow breath leaves my lungs as I stare out over the view. There’s a loneliness that creeps in during hours like this. It all leads back to her. Bryn has always had that effect on me. She sits in the centre of my mind like gravity, pulling every thought back to her eventually. I think about how she looked the last time I saw her. There was uncertainty in her eyes. Fear was there too, mixed with something else I hope might’ve been understanding. I told her everything: the honest, ugly truth. My fingers tighten slightly around the bike seat. I don’t regret what I did to protect her, and I don’t regret telling her the truth about it. She deserves the choice, even if it means she never comes back.

The wind moves through the trees, rustling the branches softly. A few clouds drift across the moon. I tilt my head back slightly, letting the cool air fill my lungs.

God, I miss her.

It’s not just her physical presence I miss; it’s everything about her. The way she looks at me like she sees every part of who I am. The way she understands the darkness in me without pretending it isn’t there. The way the world feels brighter and more alive when she’s close. Without her, everything feels dull, as if colour has been drained from the world. I spent so long without her only to have her back for a moment, and now she’s gone again. This could be the worst kind of torture.

My phone buzzes in my pocket. The vibration startles me slightly, pulling me out of my thoughts. Slowly, I pull the phone out and glance at the screen. It glows softly in the darkness. I open the message.

Bryn: So … how’s the weather where you are?

For a moment, I forget to breathe. The wind moves across the lookout again, cooler now. I lift my head slowly, staring out over the sleeping town, a slow smile spreading across my face.

No matter the distance, no matter the chaos around us, she always finds her way back to me.