Page 20 of Diary from an Inked Throne

He laughed. “There was mention of hoping the baby got mine instead.”

I scowled playfully at him. “He’s an asshole.”

“He’s an asshole who is so hopelessly in love with you that being apart from you almost destroyed him.”

I stared up at Dax. “He told you that?”

He shook his head. “He didn’t need to. I knew the same pain, and so did Lynx. It almost destroyed all of us.”

I breathed out heavily. “It almost killed me as well.”

He cradled my head, and I held him tighter, not wanting to ever let him go.

Eventually, he turned off the water, and we found towels, patting each other dry with them as best we could. I was bleeding, and Dax found some overnight pads in my old bathroom.

My heart gave a squeeze, because I knew I hadn’t put them there, I’d had no need for them. It had to have been Virginia before she died. Dax’s mom had always thought of everything and had taken care of me from the moment I’d moved in.

I didn’t tell Dax any of it. It would have been stupid to say it felt like she was watching over us.

But I felt her presence in the moment nonetheless.

Dax had no qualms in kneeling to attach the pad to my underwear and gently drawing them up my legs, fitting it in place. The blood didn’t bother him in the least, and he placed a soft kiss to my belly.

It broke my heart, because that kiss should have been placed on the head of our son.

A crushing wave of exhaustion hit me again, and the pain suddenly felt more acute. I blinked sleepily at him. “I think my adrenaline is wearing off.”

“Mine too.” He lifted the covers on Luca’s bed. “Get in. We both need rest.”

He held me in his arms, my skin against his. He told me more of the things they’d talked about while they’d been held in that room. Their theory that Carlos was behind all of this. That he’d taken Dax, faked Luca’s death, and had used his connections to have Lynx arrested and held on false charges.

“Punishing all of you for standing against him in Scotland,” I whispered. “But what was my punishment?”

“Marrying him,” Dax suggested. “He couldn’t do worse while you were carrying a baby he thought was his grandchild.”

I looked up at him through sleepy eyes. “But you think after…”

“I think he would have sold you to the highest bidder and never felt a second of remorse for it.”

I shivered, not knowing for sure if he was right. Carlos had seemed different in the end. Kinder. Truly heartbroken over losing Luca.

But it had to have all been lies, because he must have known Luca was still alive. “Why didn’t he just kill all of you?”

Dax grimaced. “He was going to. We were supposed to die as soon as your wedding was complete. I think we were only alive until that point in case he needed us as leverage.”

“Over who?”

“You, most likely.”

I sighed. “I really thought he had changed, you know? Now I’m realizing I dodged a bullet.”

Except I’d walked right into another. It had just come from Enzo’s gun instead.

My skin crawled at the thought of my tiny baby in the custody of that man. “Do you think he’ll kill him?” I whispered to Dax, voicing my deepest, darkest fear.

But Dax was so quick to answer. “I think he’d be insane to touch a hair on his head. He’s the only bargaining chip Enzo has to walk away from all of this with his life. He isn’t going to give that up.” He kissed my lips softly. “Plus, if our boy is anything like his mother, he’s going to be a warrior. He’s probably giving Enzo hell right now.”

I smiled at that. “I really hope so. I only got to hold him for a second. I don’t know anything about his personality yet.” That set off a new fear inside me. What if I couldn’t remember his face? Or how it felt when he kicked me from inside? What if that was the only time I had with him, and I’d wasted so much of it on things that no longer mattered.