Page 107 of Diary from an Inked Throne

“Not out there, ye won’t.”

I ground my teeth. “We need some fresh air. We’ve been cooped up in the house all day.”

“Then open a window.” He raised his gaze to the balcony coming off Luca’s bedroom. “Or go out there, if you must. Stay out of the way.”

I bit my tongue and tried not to piss him off any further. That wouldn’t do anyone any good. “Okay.”

He watched me walk away. I didn’t need to see him to know it. I could feel his leery gaze on my backside with every step I took.

I sped up, something deep inside warning me to get out from under his gaze, to run up those stairs as fast as I could just so he could no longer see me.

I had one foot on the bottom stair when he called my name.

“Nyah.”

I turned. “Yes?”

“Get the baby to bed and be naked when I get up there. I’m going to want to have my woman before I sleep.”

My first instinct was to sass him, to tell him he could go to Hell because I wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole.

My second reaction was to vomit or cry.

I did neither.

I just nodded while my heart thumped and my brain frantically tried to come up with a plan.

I was right back where I’d started, waiting for a man I didn’t want to claim me as his.

Only this time, I was sure I couldn’t do it.

I’d resigned myself to being Carlos Guerra’s bride. But that was before I had three men who loved me with everything they had.

There was no way I could lie there in the bed I’d shared with them and let another man have me.

I ran up the stairs, not wanting to be around MacGregor another second, sure any hope I had left would shrivel and die if I thought I had to lie on my back and open my legs for a man who wasn’t the ones I loved.

I was breathless by the time I got to Luca’s bedroom. On instinct, I went to lock it but realized there was no point. It would only piss MacGregor off, and I couldn’t risk that, not when he was still walking around with a loaded gun in his hand and my son was in my arms.

James snuffled against my chest, and a tear dripped down my face because I wished I had Virginia here to help teach me how to feed him. My mother was about as maternal as a stone, so there was no point wishing for her, but Virginia had been my friend. And she was this baby’s grandmother.

I stood there in Luca’s bedroom, crying for her, and for the fact she’d never get to meet him.

James cried with me, and I had no idea what to do. How to get him to stop.

I had no idea how to be his mother, only that I loved him more than anything.

I stepped out onto the balcony, reminding myself of Luca’s warning from the night before about the railing. I eyed the loose bolts, barely keeping it together, and shook my head at how incredibly dangerous that was. It was baffling no one had noticed until the two of them were out here.

But then, the balcony wasn’t exactly big enough for much of anything other than smoking.

Or giving a hand job, as Luca and Dax had experienced last night.

I gazed out over the darkened property, rocking side to side with James in my arms. My instinct had been right. He stared at the moon and stars above us, the rustle of the breeze through the trees, and he quieted, taking it all in. Slowly, his eyelids closed, and his breathing evened out.

I dragged my gaze off him and out into the night, my stress levels picking up again. If the baby was asleep, then soon MacGregor would come in, expecting a lot more than just a hand job.

I couldn’t forget the possessive way he’d held me to him when we’d been at his castle in Scotland. The way he’d gripped my hip so tightly he’d left finger mark bruises on my skin. My skin crawled at the memory.