Page 120 of Snowed In with Benefits

I wake up several days later to the sound of something falling in the shower. Beau is next to me in the bed. Through the door, I can see Hunter in the kitchen, making coffee. That must mean that Emmett is in the shower. It’s a small shower. I hear something else fall and wince, thinking of the hulking man folded around himself in there. He must be miserable, he’s so big he can barely turn around in there. It’s a little amusing to imagine, but it also fills me with guilt.

Beau stretches out in his sleep, grimacing. We’ve been sleeping packed onto my queen-sized bed, all tangled around each other, and none of the men have had the space that their bodies need. Their bodies must hurt, although none of them have complained about it. None of them would. They want to be with me as much as I want to be with them, and I know I’m not complaining about being squashed by them every night.

Hunter curses under his breath from the kitchen. He’s knocked his elbow on the counter for the thousandth time. He’s used to a bigger kitchen, of course, but even if he wasn’t, my kitchen would simply be too small for him to work in comfortably. My whole apartment is economy-sized. I’m economy-sized. My men are absolutely not.

Like I said, they haven’t complained. I get up and go to the breakfast bar, where my coffee is waiting for me, perfectly fixed up to my liking.

“It’s New Year’s Eve,” Hunter says, rubbing his elbow. “Are we watching fireworks?”

“We can see them from my balcony,” I tell him.

“Perfect.” He grins at me and pulls eggs out of the fridge, then frowns. “We’re going to need to go shopping again.”

“If only I had a pantry like yours,” I sigh. A thought occurs to me and I let it roll over in my head a few times. It leaves me feeling a little melancholy. Not sad, really. Just a little blue, in a romantic sort of way. I’m going to have to say goodbye to Seattle. Doing things this way, the four of us on a queen bed, the guys living out of duffel bags, the too-small kitchen and impossibly small shower, it just isn’t sustainable. But I don’t just want to leave. I want to say a proper goodbye.

“I want to show you Seattle,” I tell him. “My Seattle. The parts of it that are important to me.”

“Sure,” he says. “I think we’d all like that.”

It’s been a perfect, cozy week, full of sex and love and good food. But it just isn’t working anymore, and it has nothing to do with us. It’s the place itself—the place that still needs me to sign a new lease or leave. The longer we try to make this work, the more I know which one I’m going to end up doing. I sip my coffee as Emmett and Beau join us in the kitchen. I tell them about the plan, and they’re both on board.

Today, we’re going on a tour of Seattle, saying goodbye to all my favorite places. A bookstore where I used to spend entire rainy Saturdays. A tea shop that knows my order by heart. And finally, a photography shop full of all kinds of cameras, pictures, frames, lenses, filters, anything a professional photographer could ask for.

I linger in there longer than I mean to. I pick up a lens I’ve been eyeing for months, turning it over in my hands, feeling the cool weight of it. The shop smells like dust and developer fluid and possibility. I’ve spent so many hours in here, just browsing, just dreaming about the kind of photographer I might be someday. I set the lens back down carefully and run my fingers along the edge of the display case.

“You okay?” Beau asks quietly.

“Yeah,” I tell him. “Just saying goodbye.”

He doesn’t ask me to explain. He just stands there with me until I’m ready to leave.

Finally, after I’ve run out of places to take them to that are open on New Year’s Eve, I head for Courtney’s place.

“There’s somebody you all need to meet,” I tell them. “This person is extremely important to me, and I’m asking you to please be on your absolute best behavior.”

They exchange glances that border on frowns and I smile secretly to myself. I’m wearing my green sweater today because I know the chances are excellent that Nola is also dressed in green. We pull up outside my sister’s house and the guys get out of the car. I step out next and stand there, just waiting.

“So, who is this person?” Hunter asks, looking up at the two-story McMansion.

“You’ll see,” I tell him.

The door flies open. “Aunt Josie!” Nola comes screaming down the walk and jumps into my arms. Like I thought, she’s dressed head to toe in different shades of green. “We match!”

“We sure do, darling.” I squeeze her tight and kiss her on the head before setting her down.

Her grin falls away and she frowns at me. “You didn’t say hi to me at Grandma’s party.”

“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I had a lot of grown-up stuff to deal with.”

She nods somberly. “I know. I saw. I was sitting on the stairs when everybody started talking about you. They called you a lot of names that I got grounded for asking Mom about.”

I wince at that. “I’m sorry you had to hear all that, honey. Would you like to meet my friends?”

She looks at them with the open, honest curiosity of a child. “They’re big.”

“They are. This is Emmett, this is Beau, and this is Hunter.”

“Beau and Hunter? Like a hunter with a bow? That’s cool. Are you brothers?”