Page 132 of Awakened

“No!” I shout, and tighten my grip on her hands, as if speaking the words alone might be enough for Fate to take her from me. “I don’t feel trapped at all. Not at all, love. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give if it meant keeping you. Nothing.”

I lean closer and wait for her to meet my gaze before adding, “Including my brothers.”

Idril flinches. “You can’t. You’re stuck. Stuck with me and stuck with them. And Caelan, I don’t want you to choose. I don’t want you to feel like you have to choose.”

“I don’t,” I reply fiercely. “You’re mine, Idril. You’re my Mate. Mine. Fate blessed us with two Fated Bonds—including one that’s so fucking powerful it makes the Scent-Match Bond look like a piece of thread next to an oak tree.”

She swallows thickly but doesn’t answer.

“You say you don’t want me to feel like I have to choose, right?”

She answers with a hesitant nod.

“There is no choice, Idril. Choosing implies the existence of one or more alternatives equally as enticing as my Bond with you.”

I let go of her hands and lift mine to cradle her face in my hands, swiping my thumbs across her cheekbones the way I did that first night in her bedroom, and a dozen times since.

“Listen to me closely because this next part is important.”

She nods. “Alright.”

“There is no version of me in this world or any other that lives a life without you. You’re mine, Idril, without a Bond or with a dozen of them. You’re written in my bones. My blood. My fucking soul. With every breath I breathe, in every lifetime I live, my choice will always be you.”

Her eyes search mine. I hold my breath, waiting.

With a strangled sob, Idril throws herself into my arms. I pull her close, wrapping myself around her and breathing in her scent—still beautiful, despite the suppressants doing their job—as she cries silent tears that soak through my shirt and into my heart.

I don’t know how long we stay there, wrapped up in each other, but eventually Idril’s tears taper off, and she pulls back. Soren passes her a tissue, which she takes with a watery smile of thanks.

“How did you find out?” Soren asks once Idril’s calmed down enough to speak. I wish I could save her from having to relive all her fucking trauma.

“They came to my room,” she answers shakily. “Just a few hours before you arrived. I guess they’d already showered, but they never reapplied their descenter. As soon as they walked in… I knew.”

Soren curses and Idril reaches out, taking his hand in hers. “There’s something else.”

“Go on, love.”

“They don’t know we’re Scent-Matched.”

“By the Mother, I seriously fucking hope not,” Soren exclaims.

“I’m so sorry you had to find out like that,” I murmur. “I should have handled it differently. I’ve made this so much worse.”

“We have to tell them,” Soren says, but he doesn’t sound like he actually wants to. “They don’t deserve you, and Bonds or not, I don’t trust either of them anywhere near you, but⁠—”

“No!” Idril lunges for Soren and clutches his wrists like she thinks he’s about to tell them right this moment. “Fates. I can’t. Please don’t make me. They’ll reject me, or—or⁠—”

Her voice breaks on a sob, and her tears return with a vengeance, streaming down her pale cheeks and breaking my heart all over again.

Soren pulls her to him and wraps his arms around her. His wide eyes meet mine, full of turmoil.

“Please,” she whispers brokenly. “Please, please… I can’t live like that. I can’t—I won’t—spend the rest of my life wondering if they’re only with me because of Fate. And I can’t handle an outright rejection right now. I can’t. My Omega can’t.”

He deflates, giving in without a fight. “Alright, Little Mate. Alright. I promise I won’t say anything. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, alright?”

Idril turns to me, and I nod in agreement. We can’t make her tell them. This is Idril’s choice. I won’t fight her on it, even if I wanted to. I refuse to be yet another Alpha who forces her to bend to my will.

And quite honestly… fuck them.