Page 64 of Hell Burns Between Us

Sia was crying again, only this time Peri felt no urge to comfort her. “I’ll see you later—I have to go now.”

A flicker of pain crossed Sia’s face. She knew Peri was lying but it didn’t matter. Peri gave a shaky, forced smile to keep up the allusion before she turned and sprinted into the field. Her hands fumbled for her whistle. The moment she blew it, Zila came bounding towards her, eyes flashing with worry.

Peri clutched the thick fur and hauled herself onto Zila’s back.

Then they ran.

Tears blurred Peri’s vision, but the wind tore them away before they could fall. A sob built in her chest, but she swallowed it down, burying her face in Zila’s fur. Her family was cutting her apart, piece by piece, until there was nothing left of her.

For so long, she had tried. She had wanted them to see her—to truly understand that the life they insisted would bring her happiness only left her feeling caged.

When that failed, she tried to become what they wanted. She had obeyed. Had bent and shaped herself to fit into their world.

And still, it was never enough. They were always disappointed, because no matter how much she gave, she couldn’t turn that part of herself off. The part that questioned the Silver Book’s teachings. The part that rebelled against their expectations. The part that wanted something different.

Her family was right. Of course, they were right. She shouldn’t be this way. Shouldn’t question things that were holy. Shouldn’t be so obstinate. So contrary.

And yet—

The doubt inside her refused to die. A raw, screaming part of her wanted to claw its way free. To rage and fight and never stop fighting.

So Zila ran. Ran until her muscles burnt and the world blurred around them. When they were utterly and completely alone, Zila slowed and Peri slid from her back. She stood heaving for a moment.

“Do you think it’ll ever be enough? That I’ll ever make them proud?”

Zila growled softly. “Is that really what you want?”

She winced, but said, “Of course!”

Zila licked her cheek. “Seems to me you just tell yourself it's what you want. I’ve seen you wild and roaming, eyes bright with adventure. Lie to yourself all you want, but I know you little hellion. I think what you want is going to ravage you unless you set it free.”

A sob tore from Peri. “It’s not that simple.”

“It never is.”

There was nothing more to say after that. By the time Peri turned back toward home, a full thunder moon hung high in the sky, bathing the fields in a piercing silver light. She gathered her emotions, folding them into herself like pressed petals.

Hiding them.

Locking them away.

Until no one—not even herself—would be able to find them.

Chapter

Twenty

PERINE WILDER

The sprawling hills behind her home were normally her favourite place to go to clear her mind. The vast meadows stretched out in all directions, offering endless opportunities for delightful strolling through windblown fields. So it hadn’t exactly surprised her when her mother suggested Valus walk through the fields with her to her religious courses.

What had surprised her was how, in the presence of Valus, the gentle rolling hills now rose around her hollow and desolate. An expanse that had once filled her with awe now warped around her in an endless vacuum of dread.

Valus was explaining something to her, but she couldn’t be bothered to listen. Her thoughts were still buzzing from the fight she’d had with her sister a few days before.

Absentmindedly, she stroked the thin snake wrapped around her throat. It was strange to find serenity from a tiny serpent posing as jewellery—yet it never failed to slow the trepidation in her heart.

Her eyes drifted over to Valus’s tall figure, allowing herself to take him in objectively. The wind played idly with his rust-coloured hair, and as the sun emerged from the clouds, Valus seemed to almost glow. The rich golden light caught along the wide expanse of his shoulders and sharpened the strong line of his chin.