Page 8 of In Darkness We Claim

“I can have whoever I want.” Although Lawson speaks to Tillie, he fixes his gaze on me, and my heart races when I hear the challenge he aims my way.

I shake my head at him, trying to ignore the way my stomach flips at how he looks at me. “Not everyone,” I point out.

“No, you’re far too sweet to want a bad boy like me, right?” He doesn’t even try to hide the sarcasm in his voice, but I hold my head high as I try to keep my voice from cracking.

“That’s right. I’m Betrothed, which means I’m off-limits.”

Lawson doesn’t respond, but that cocky smirk of his turns wicked, and a shiver runs down my spine. I’m on edge, knowing he’s about to do something, but despite it seeming like everything is happening in slow motion, I’m unable to stop it.

Lawson turns to his best friend, Bram, who I didn’t even realise was standing with him until just now. As he looks to him, out of the corner of my eye, I see Ryan leaning against the wall behind them, watching everything with keen interest. I can tell by his relaxed posture that he’s been there a while, but he’s made no effort to intervene on my behalf.

I’m so busy getting angry over Ryan that I miss what Lawson is doing, but I’m brought back to the moment when something cold hits my head. I let out a yelp as a cold, sticky liquid coats my hair before dripping down my body until I’m completely covered.

I glance up to see Lawson holding a large Sprite bottle over my head, shaking it to make sure every drop lands on me. He then hands the bottle back to his friend with thanks.

Bram shakes his head at Lawson, though he gives him a smile that only confuses me more. “I mean, it’s slightly better than pissing on her. Are you going to pull on her pigtails now, or shall we go?”

Lawson ignores Bram, waving him off as if he didn’t say a word, before turning to scowl at me. “You said you were sweet,” he jokes. “But I prefer my girls dirty…well, now you’re both. Why don’t I show you how much fun you can have being dirty?”

He then has the audacity to wink at me, which only makes the anger sizzling beneath my skin blaze to life. I scowl at him as I push myself off the ground, swiping my dripping wet hair off my face.

“How many times do I have to tell you, I will never want you! You disgust me. Even if you were the last man on Earth, I’d rather die a virgin than let you touch me,” I growl, stepping closer to him, though I doubt it’s as threatening as I’d hoped for.

Lawson lets out a low, maniacal laugh, his silver eyes sparkling as though he likes it when I argue with him. He closes the gap between us, and I freeze when he lifts his hand towards my face. He gently places a strand of soaked hair behind my ear before leaning in.

I hate how a shiver ripples down my spine when he whispers for only me to hear. “I would bet good money on that not being true. I think you secretly want me.”

He takes a step back as my stomach flutters in a way I pointedly have to ignore, since I refuse to admit he might be right. I definitely don’t want him…but there’s something about him that I’m drawn to. No matter how much of an arsehole he is, or how awful he is to me, I can’t deny that my body reacts whenever he’s near.

Since I can’t let him know that, I hold my head high and try to make sure he can’t see any of the ways my body reacts to him. “I don’t want you. I will never want you.” Projecting my voice loud enough for everyone to hear, I make my stance very clear, whilst hoping my hormones and body get the message too.

Lawson shakes his head as his wicked smile grows, and it’s clear he isn’t buying a single word. “Keep saying it until you believe it, sweetheart. We both know I always get what I want. One day, very soon, you’ll beg me to show you how much fun you can have being dirty.”

Before I can say a word, Lawson turns on his heel and strides away, as if he didn’t just dump a drink on my head and mess with my emotions. Thankfully, Tillie and Sienna shuffle off behind him, calling his name as they follow like the sheep they are.

Bram smiles as he steps closer to me. I hold my breath as he leans in, his lips hovering beside my ear as he whispers, “Keep putting up a fight, Red. I’m enjoying watching you mess with his head.” He then gives me a cheeky little wink as he turns and walks after his friend, leaving my head spinning.

I glance over to where Ryan was leaning against the wall, only to find it unoccupied. I look around the courtyard, which has emptied quickly as everyone who was watching just a moment ago has now rushed to their next class.

I spot Ryan’s signature gelled dirty-blond hair in the distance beside Sienna and Tillie, and my heart sinks knowing the man I’m supposed to marry just stood by and watched this happen, and didn’t even stick around to check on me afterwards.

Though our marriage contract wasn’t born from love, I had hoped Ryan would care for me enough to back me and stand up for me in moments like these. I’m more than a little deflated that he didn’t.

But as I collect my wet supplies, which somehow didn’t manage to avoid the splatter of the drink, and shove them into my soggy bag, what annoys me more is that my thoughts aren’t filled with anger over Ryan. In fact, he barely registers at all. Instead, all I can think about is Lawson, and the way my traitorous body responds to him.

This isn’t even the worst thing he’s done to me this year. On a sliding scale, it’s barely a five, and yet, I still can’t bring myself to hate him as much as I say I do. There’s something about him that calls to a side of me I’ve kept locked away for a very long time, the part of me that will never see the light of day.

When he talks about me being on my knees, doing dirty things to him, that’s the side of me he calls to. The one who cannot think like that, who contradicts the perfect Order Wife I’m destined to become.

So, I push my thoughts about Lawson deep inside, storing them away alongside the girl who will never get to know what freedom tastes like. As I remind myself that I hate Lawson, I keep repeating that I will be happy with the life I create with Ryan. I won’t think about all the things I’m missing out on, as that won’t do me any good at all. Hating Lawson is easy; wanting him to fulfil his promise and free me is what’s dangerous.

START OF SECOND YEAR AT SHADOWMERE UNIVERSITY

The rough burlap scrapes against my skin as the bag is yanked from my throbbing head. My eyes sting, trying to adjust to the dim, dusty light filtering through the grimy air. As I try to take in my surroundings, the world swims into a hazy focus, a disorienting blur of muted colours.

As I push to make sense of what’s happening to me, a dull ache pulses behind my eyes, with each beat echoing the thrumming in my ears. The air hangs heavy and stale, carrying the faint scent of damp earth and something metallic, while my limbs feel like lead, heavy and unresponsive.

I remember going to bed in Crowhurst House, and then waking with a start to find a sea of Obsidian Order silver masks staring down at me. I can only assume they drugged me and brought me here.