Page 96 of Only Ever You

“Messing with her how?”

“I don’t know!” I snarl. “She thinks I’m playing mind games. That I’m showing up to throw her off. She accused me of hoping she’d fall. As if I’d ever…”

He grimaces. “Ouch. Yeah, that one probably hurt.”

“I told her I’d never want that. Never.” I dig my fingers into my hair and tug at the roots. “I said it’s because I can’t ignore her. And I don’t think she can ignore me either. Then, she kissed me. To shut me up, apparently, and then she left.”

With a palm pressed to his forehead, Asher lets out a loud exhale. “Damn, I have so many questions.” He shakes his head. “I shouldn’t be surprised about the kiss part. It was a long time coming, considering how you two spent years pining for each other.”

“Pining for⁠—”

“Shut up.” A lazy grin splits his face. “Sorry, I’m not gonna quiet you with a kiss. I find words way more effective.”

Standing, I flip him off. Restless energy pulses inside my body, the urge to go for a ride almost unbearable. But I made a promise to my parents when I got my bike that I’d never ride it when I felt like I might lose control. And right now, I’m hanging on by a thread.

“So when you leave an hour and a half before conditioning starts, you go to the rink to watch her skate?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

I pace the room, clenching and unclenching my fists. “I don’t know. The first time, I couldn’t sleep and just ended up there. I was curious. She’s skating at a pro level, and I wanted to see. But since then, I’ve been waking up before my alarm, and all I want to do is see her on the ice again. It sets my mood for the whole day. She’s kind of inspiring to watch.” She always has been.

He chuckles. “Okay, you little stalker.”

“If you’re going to mock me, you better leave me alone.”

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll keep my comments to myself.” He grins and holds up his hands. “So she kissed you, and I assume you kissed her back?”

“Yeah.” I drag a hand over my mouth. “And now, I have no fucking idea what to think. She found out I’ve been watching her, and she’s pissed about that. She doesn’t trust me. She thinks I’m playing mind games or some shit. Then she just,”—I throw my arms out, gesturing helplessly around the room—“kisses me and storms out.”

He frowns thoughtfully. “So what do you want?”

“I want…” I trail off, too overcome by the thoughts appearing in my mind at breakneck speed. Thoughts that, if I’m honest, have been there since the moment we started falling apart in high school.

But I don’t dare say them aloud.

I want Isla to trust me again.

I want her to talk to me.

I want to go back in time and pinpoint the moment that ruined everything so I can undo every shitty thing that happened between us.

Also, I want to kiss her again.

Instead of confessing it all, I shrug. “I want her to stop assuming the worst of me.”

“Well,” Ash says carefully, “you two clearly need to talk.”

“Thanks, genius. She doesn’t want to talk to me.” I drop back onto my bed. “She doesn’t believe a word I say and refuses to answer my questions. I asked her to stay so we could talk, but she ran off.”

“She probably wasn’t planning on kissing you when she came over, so I get why she freaked out.” His lips tip up in a small smile. “Give her some time to cool off.”

Time? We’ve had years. The thought of waiting longer makes my chest ache. “I just…I don’t even know who she is anymore. I don’t know anything about her life. Not what she likes, not who she hangs out with.” I inhale deeply, considering whether or not I should say this next part aloud. In the end, I go for it. “I don’t even know if she has a boyfriend.”

His brows jump to his hairline. “Boyfriend, huh?”

“Don’t make it weird, please.” I groan, closing my eyes. “All I’m saying is, I know nothing about her.”