Page 27 of Once I Find You

“Stop…looking for ways to defend me. And don’t say ‘yet,’ this was it, remember?”

Yes. I remember. Buuuut…I will choose to forget.

“Can I at least ask you why?”

“Why what?” he asks, stopping closer to my front door.

“Why did you start doing this? The killing?”

I can tell that my question has struck a chord. Maybe it was too personal? But I want to know. I want to know everything about him. Even if he said something horrible, I’d understand him.

“I don’t talk about that,” he says dismissively.

“I won’t judge you, I swear.” He’s silent, and I speak up again. “I’ll tell you a bad secret too.”

He shakes his head, running his hand over his face. “I need to go. Please, leave everything be. Move on. You’re young, go explore and…whatever other shit people your age do these days.”

I don’t even have a chance to protest before he walks out, closing my door behind him. My ears ring from the silence, and I can’t help the rush of emotions.

It’s okay, Layla. Give him a few days…and I’m going back. This time, I’ll try something different.

The next day goes by like a blur. I went to the bakery and had the most boring day of my life. I usually love going to work…but now I have too much on my mind.

I feel relieved when I make it back to my apartment, slipping my shoes off with a sigh. Maybe I’ll treat myself to some takeout? I don’t feel like making ramen again tonight.

Alyssa

Hey! We’re getting on the call in 10

Wendy

I’m already on

Me

ooo okay let me order food and change and i’ll be there!

I quickly go to grab some comfortable sweats and a long sleeve and get myself ready to relax and become one with my couch. I’ve been looking forward to this call all day, it’s been forever since I’ve gotten to unwind and talk to my forum friends.

I order some fast food from my phone, and plop down with my laptop. When I join the call, I’m interrupting Alyssa and Wen as they’re already arguing.

“Seriously? Of course her fucking parents killed her! There’s no way you believe some random guy broke into her house and did that to her and left undetected?”

“You guys are still arguing about that?” I butt in with a laugh.

“Finally, someone with some sense. Layla please, explain to Alyssa that she’s wrong.”

“I mean, sorry Aly, I really might have to agree with Wen. I think her parents at least know something, even if they didn’t do it.”

Alyssa sighs and rolls her eyes exaggeratingly and we laugh. “Hey, where’s Gabi? She said she’d be here.”

Wen shrugs, and I check my phone. Gabi is just…not too into video calls usually. She sometimes joins in just to talk. I think maybe she’s shy? Or a loner? And I know she probably feels left out because us three are always spamming the group chat.

“We should probably make a new group chat,” Wen ends up saying.

“What? Why?” I ask, looking up from my phone to check on my food delivery.

Alyssa and Wen both stay silent for a minute, then Wen speaks up. “It’s just…she mentioned that she thought you were being kind of weird. Like, because of the name you sent and then you took down some old comments from the forum and she noticed. I mean we don’t agree, I think she just is reading into it, you know? Like you know she’s always been kind of suspicious of everyone.”