Page 24 of Once I Find You

“What are those?” he asks. I turn to follow his gaze and my heart drops.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I’m Going to Enjoy the Show

KANE

Her eyes quickly flash to her nightstand as I walk toward it, and she rushes over trying to beat me. I stop her with my arm, keeping her in place. “You asked me to fuck you, and you’re shy about sex toys?”

“Yes! I mean, no! I didn’t mean to leave these out at all,” she says as she tries again to go for them, but I hold her there.

I pick up the ridiculous colored dildo and hold it in front of her. “When did you use this last?” She looks flustered, and I’m losing patience. She just came on to me, and she’s being shy? I need to get this over with. If this is what it takes for her to stop chasing me everywhere, then I’ll do it.

Not that I’m fucking complaining. It’s been years since I’ve let myself have anyone. As much as I don’t trust and can’t stand this girl for suddenly appearing and turning my life upside down in less than twenty-four hours, I can’t help but imagine her bent over this bed. Reddening her ass for what she’s put me through as I push myself deep inside of her.

Fuck. I’m hard already. “Open.”

She nervously complies, and I move the dildo forward to touch her lips, then slowly push the tip in her mouth. Her eyes don’t leave mine, and I can’t look away from her wet mouth as it takes what I give it. I pull it out slowly, her saliva slicking from the tip to her tongue.

“You still taste yourself on it?” I ask, and she bites her lip.

Fuck it, I can’t hold back anymore. I toss it on the bed and grab her shoulders to push her back onto the bed next to it. I pull my shirt off and climb over her. She pulls her own shirt over her head, mimicking me, but I can still see the trembling of her hand.

Am I really that scary looking? Are my scars that hard to look at?

I pull down her leggings and throw them somewhere behind me. God, look at her. Her perfect, voluptuous body is on display under me. She’s wearing a purple bra which barely contains her, and her panties match perfectly, with a bit of glitter that matches those cups. Fuck, she really must have been planning for this. I palm her breast, kneading it with my hand as I undo my belt.

I can see how wet she is through her panties. Fuck, I can’t lose focus. Fuck her, and get the hell out of here before more shit goes wrong. It’s a win-win.

I look down and unzip my pants, and suddenly her hands go to my chest. I look back at her and see her eyes wide. “C-can’t we maybe kiss first?” she asks.

Kiss? What does she think this is? Maybe I shouldn’t have agreed to this.

“Or not. Sorry. It’s okay.” I can see her chest rising and falling quickly, but as I take myself out of my boxers, she closes her eyes. Why? They’re pinned shut, and I don’t move.

After a moment, her eyes open a little. “Aren’t you gonna…do it?” she asks, her voice giving her away.

I tuck myself back into my boxers and stand back up.

“What are you doing?” she asks quickly as she sits up.

“I’m leaving, Layla. You don’t seem like you’re ready for this, and I’m not the right man for someone like you.”

Her face contorts a bit as she takes in my words, and maybe that sounded harsh. But fuck, this girl needs someone to help her. No one is around for her, that’s obvious. She’s trying to force herself to have sex with a stranger? A serial killer? When she’s clearly traumatized?

“Why? I can do it!”

“I don’t want to do it like this, Layla. You need to never invite strange men into your apartment again, you hear me?”

As I go to zip my pants up, her hands desperately grab my arm. “Please. I’m sorry. I-I know I wasn’t honest, but I swear I want it. I want it so badly you have no idea.”

Something in her voice…just makes me stop. I stay still and listen.

“I haven’t done it. Not since…you know.” Her confirmation of what I guessed after her reaction to me makes my eyes involuntarily close as I take a breath. No matter what I think about this crazy girl, I can’t stand hearing that. I want to go back in time and torture him. I should’ve taken my fucking time.

“But I want to! I didn’t want to, for so long, but then…when I’d sit and think about what kind of man I’d trust with my body, all I could think of was you. That’s why I said that it didn’t matter who you were or what you looked like. I just…wanted you. Want you! I mean, I still do. I didn’t know what would happen or how I’d feel but I don’t want to stop.”

“You don’t want to stop? You can’t even start. I can’t take you like this, Layla. It goes against everything I believe in. You’re not ready.”