Page 164 of Love Spells: And Other Non-Refundable Magic

“I told myself I was being careful, because careful sounds much better than afraid.”

My throat tightens. I look down for a moment because my eyes have started burning, and I refuse to begin crying before Flora finishes whatever she’s doing to me.

“But then you came along, and I wasn’t careful at all.” Her voice catches lightly, and she steps toward me. She reaches out both of her hands and holds mine, thumbs moving across in a very soothing motion. “I kept thinking the answer was figuring out how to make love safe enough that I could choose it. But I don’t think that’s possible.”

When I look up again, she’s watching me.

“But not choosing you because I’m afraid I could lose you someday means I don’t get to have you now.”

Fuck.

“So maybe I was wrong,” she says.

“About what?”

“Magic.”

That is not what I expect her to say. A tiny smile pulls at one corner of her mouth.

“I still don’t think the universe sent you to me.” Her thumbs move over my hands again. “But I think there has to be a little bit of magic in finding someone you weren’t looking for and somehow making room for them without even realizing you’re doing it.”

My throat closes.

She takes a breath, and her smile wobbles softly. “And maybe there’s some in being seen completely by someone and finding out they still want to stay.”

Flora takes one more step in my direction, and now there’s barely any space between us. If there are people still around us, I don’t know, because all I can focus on is her deep brown eyes and her focused face.

“I love you.”

Every clever thing I have ever said in my life abandons me at once.

Flora’s fingers tighten around mine, and I realize that for all the certainty in everything she just said, she’s nervous. I can feel it in the slight tremble of her hands.

“I love you, Merry,” she says again, softer this time. “And I’m done being afraid of what that means.”

“Oh, fuck you,” I blurt out. Flora starts laughing, and it’s not polite and not like I’ve charmed her. No. Her head drops and her shoulders shake, and because she’s still holding both of my hands, I can feel it all the way through her. “I wanted to say it first.”

Her smile falters. “What?”

“That night. Before the thing. With the secret identities.” My voice comes out rougher than I expect, so I clear my throat. “That was what I was trying to tell you. I already knew, Flora. Before I knew you were The Third Fairy. Before I knew you were the person I’d been talking to all those weeks. I knew when you were just you.”

Flora goes very still.

She only looks at me, and I watch the meaning of what I’ve said move slowly across her face. Her lips part, but nothing comes out. The shine in her eyes gets worse, and she blinks hard enough that I know she’s trying to stop herself from crying.

It’s strange, after everything we know about each other now, to realize there are still things I can tell her that she isn’t prepared for.

“I was standing in my kitchen trying to tell you I loved you, and then the fucking cat came in with that stupid bracelet and ruined what was shaping up to be a really excellent moment.”

A watery laugh slips out of her, but a tear escapes at the same time. I watch it move down her cheek.

“Although,” I add, “in retrospect, I probably would’ve talked for another ten minutes before actually getting to the point.”

Flora smiles, but she still looks a little stunned. There is something almost vulnerable about the way she’s looking at me now that makes my chest ache, because this woman just stood here and told me she was done being afraid of loving me, and somehow hearing that I got there first is the thing that has knocked all the air out of her.

I free one of my hands and brush the tear from her cheek.

“I love you so fucking much,” I tell her.