Page 24 of After the Snap

“I know.” Her eyes hold mine this time, soft and unguarded in a way they hadn’t a minute ago. “I’m just… not used to someone looking at me like that.”

She bites her lip the second the admission leaves her mouth, as though she’d meant to keep that part of herself hidden. My thumb drifts across her cheek again as she watches me carefully, waiting for me to tell her she has nothing to worry about, but I don’t say anything. For another heartbeat, neither of us moves, her eyes moving over my face with quiet concentration before she closes the distance between us.

Her mouth finds mine in a kiss that’s slower than the ones before it, every lingering brush of her lips carrying a certainty that hadn’t been there until now. I meet her exactly where she is, and when my arms tighten around her, she melts against me with a soft sigh that feels less like surrender than a choice she’s finally allowing herself to make.

A rough groan catches in my throat as I guide us backward without breaking the kiss. Every careful step gives her another chance to stop me, another chance to create the distance she’d been trying so hard to keep between us only an hour ago.

She never does.

Instead, her fingers tighten in my hair as the backs of her knees meet the edge of the mattress. I slide one hand to the small of her back and ease her down with a care that feels almost instinctive, following her until she’s looking up at me from the bed without ever breaking eye contact.

I'm just… not used to someone looking at me like that.

Her words hit me with a force they hadn’t before. She said them the way people talk about the weather, accepting them so completely that they no longer sound cruel. Somewhere along the way, she decided being overlooked was simply part of who she was, and I know that feeling. I know what it’s like to believe the version everyone else sees is the only version worth wanting.

My hands find her face again, tilting her head as I kiss her with a desperation that has everything to do with the impossible need growing inside me to give her something no one else ever has. Words could never be enough anymore.‌ I kiss her until the rest of the world disappears, every touch another attempt to show her what I can’t seem to say. I need her to carry this with her long after tonight is over, because the thought of her walking away still believing she isn’t extraordinary feels unbearable.

When I finally pull back, I brace myself on trembling arms, holding just enough distance to really see her. Her fingers remain tangled in my hair, her palms framing my face as though she’s afraid I’ll disappear if she loosens her grip.

“Don’t hide from me now.” I drag my mouth up to hers again, swallowing the words before they ruin me.

I take her face in both hands and kiss her as if she’s the only thing that’s ever made me feel whole. My forehead presses against hers again as her hands come up to frame my jaw, thumbs brushing the corner of my mouth. Her fingers curl into my hair, tugging just enough to make me groan as I try to steady the way my pulse is racing. Every time she touches me, it gets harder to remember why I thought I could keep any part of myself untouched tonight.

When I open my eyes, hers are already on me. I don’t know how long I stay there staring at her, but eventually her brows pull together.

“What?”

I shake my head, my thumb brushing across her cheek. “I don’t remember what it felt like not to want to kiss you.”

Another shy smile spreads across her face, but she doesn’t duck her head. Instead, she leans into my hand, her lips brushing mine in a kiss so soft it almost undoes me.

“You still want this?”

“Yes.”

“If you change your mind, you tell me,” I say, voice rough, eyes locked on hers.

“I will.”

My forehead rests against hers for one more heartbeat. I don’t realize I’ve been holding my breath until I let it go, and only then do I allow my hands to wander. I pull her skirt down, palms skating over her thighs, and my hands explore her body. She lifts her hips to help, our bodies sliding together, desperate and alive in a way that terrifies me.

She’s watching me now instead of worrying about being watched. Every inch of trust she gives me feels earned, and I slow even more because I don’t want her to miss a single second of knowing exactly how carefully she’s being held.

A quiet laugh escapes her, breathless and unguarded, and I can’t help smiling back as I brush another kiss against her mouth. “I enjoy seeing you smile.”

She reaches for me again, fingertips skimming along my shoulders before she steals another kiss that leaves me grinning against her lips. I lose myself in her for another long moment until the part of my brain still capable of coherent thought finally catches up with the rest of me.

“Don’t move,” I murmur, stealing one last kiss.

“Where are you going?”

“Nowhere, just making sure we don’t do something stupid.”

I smile, brushing my knuckles along her cheek before reaching toward the nightstand, feeling around for the foil packet. When I finally pull it out, I hold it up with a grin.

“Safety first.”

“I knew you were a Boy Scout.” She giggles softly as I quickly strip out of my clothes, sliding on the condom before taking my place back between her legs. I drop my forehead to her shoulder, breathing her in and trying to hold on to my control. My hand slides up her side until it finds hers, lacing our fingers together and pressing one more kiss beneath her ear.