Page 87 of Best Laid Plans

“Legs, we need help. You need to take this place out of lockdown and call for help,” I tell her, trying to keep my voice steady.

“Shit, I should have thought of that.” She gets to her feet.

“And check on Lucy. She’s been shot too.”

“I’m on it,” she calls out, running to take care of that while I focus on Conan.

His color is rapidly fading, and as I eye the white gauze that’s now soaked red, my fingertips graze the scars left from his chemo port.

“It’s okay, Lil,” Conan says, wrapping his large hand around my wrist. Blood seeps through my fingers as I look into his eyes and see a resigned sort of peace in them.

“No, fuck that. You didn’t beat cancer just to die on me now, asshole.”

He chuckles, blood coating his lips as he does. “You got mean.”

“No, I got mad. I’m not losing anyone else, Conan. I won’t allow it. If you die, so help me god, I’ll follow you to hell and yank your soul right back out again.”

“You think I’m going to hell?” He grins, his teeth pink now. My vision fades for a moment, and all I see is white. I don’t let go of the gauze, though. I don’t let up on the pressure. I pour all I have into this man, hoping I can hold him here long enough for someone to save him.

His eyes slip closed as he smiles. “Conan, stay awake. Hey, Conan!” I curse when I realize his chest isn’t moving. “Come on, Conan, don’t you do this to me. Legs! I need you.”

I start doing chest compressions as Legs rushes over and drops down beside me.

“What can I do?”

“Breathe for him,” I whisper, my head spinning.

She nods, her shaky hands tipping his head back as she uses her fingers to clear his airway and presses her mouth on his. I watch her do two breaths before I resume compressions. “One, two, three,” I count.

I hear a commotion near the door. “Lil!”

At the sound of Powers’s voice, I know everything’s going to be okay. I look over and see him through my bleary eyes. Others file in behind him, but all I see is him.

He takes one look at me and pales. “Baby?”

“I’m okay,” I say. Or I try to, but the words won’t come out. I shake my head and keep pushing on Conan’s chest until I feel hands pulling me away. I try to fight them. If I stop, Conan will die.

“I’ve got him, Lil. I’ve got him.” I hear Blade say, and I know he does. He loves him too. I let go, leaving him in the hands that won’t let him go, and fall into Powers’s arms as he scoops me up.

“Lil? Lil. Stay awake, baby.”

I smile, remembering I said the same thing to Conan. Only he didn’t stay awake, did he? And neither did Tina.

“He killed them. Tina. Rose. Conan. Lucy. He killed them all, but he won’t kill anyone else.”

“Shh, it’s okay, I’ve got you now. Where the fuck is the ambulance?” he roars, his voice cracking with fear.

I reach up blindly and grab his cut. “I couldn’t let him hurt them. I don’t want to leave you, but I couldn’t let him hurt them. It had to be me.” I know he doesn’t understand, but my head is too foggy to explain, so I tell him the only thing left that matters.

“I love you. I’m sorry I’m leaving you again. I wanna stay so bad,” I cry, my head pounding. I can’t keep my eyes open any longer, but I need him to hear me now, in case this is the last chance I get. “You were the best thing that happened to me,” I whisper as I feel something sliding over my head. I can’t open my eyes, but when I feel Powers slip the metal tags into my hand, I know what it is.

He presses his lips to my forehead. “You can’t leave now. You finally found your way home.”

I taste his tears against my lips and feel my own slide over my cheeks.

“I want forever.” I need him to know if I could stay if I would.

“Then live,” he chokes out.