Page 9 of Best Laid Plans

I swallow and nod again. “I’m not an old lady, Powers, and this was never a ploy to make me one. Hell, I’d paint a target on their back by association even if some idiot decided….” My voice fades out when I see the intense look he’s giving me. “No.”

“It will give you another layer of protection.”

I gently move Lucy’s head off my lap before I dart up. The room spins, making me sway, ruining my whole thought process as I pitch forward. Thankfully, Powers has killer reflexes. He jumps up and catches me before I can swan dive into the coffee table.

“Whoa there. You just got out of the damn hospital, and you’re supposed to be taking it easy.”

“Then stop fucking with my head.”

“I’m fucking with your head? Seriously?”

“I’m not doing this. I’m in no state to fight with you. I’m sorry I hurt you by leaving. I hurt me too, but I stand by my decision. Because if you knew who I was dealing with, you’d have told me to go too.”

“Like fuck would I have let you go off alone. Anything could have happened to you. Something fucking did happen to you.”

“Yes, but it happened to me. It was the only thing that got me through the worst of it, knowing you all were safe. That was the sacrifice I was willing to make.”

“You should have stayed. You should have told us who and what we were dealing with instead of letting us fumble our way through everything. We could have been more prepared—” His words snap off.

I push back from him, catching the odd inflection in his tone. “What are you talking about? Prepared for what?”

“It doesn’t matter right now. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Said anything about what? Powers, tell me what happened.” I feel my heart thundering in my chest as I wait for him to reply. I did everything right. I ran so he’d follow. He always follows me.

“Shit. Sit down for a minute, okay?”

I close my eyes and try to take a steadying breath. I can already feel it—that impending sense of doom rolling over me like a black cloud. “Just tell me, please,” I whisper.

He freezes, my tone and how tense I am giving away how close to the edge I am. “He kidnapped Star, Citi, and Capone.”

I swallow down the bile rushing up my throat. I don’t ask how or why. None of that matters. “Are they okay?” I know they’re not dead because Neveah would never have been so nice to me.

“Citi and Star are okay.”

I relax before his words soak in like poison. I grab the back of the sofa for support. “Capone?”

He hesitates before he shakes his head. “He shot at Star. Capone covered her body with his. She’s alive because of him.”

“And he’s dead because of me. Oh god.” I turn and run to the bathroom, barely making it in time before I’m puking up everything inside me.

I don’t know how long I stay there, bending over the toilet, tears, snot, and puke on my face, blood on my hands, before I’m gently lifted and lowered into a warm bath fully clothed.

I gasp, my eyes flying to Powers’s worried ones. “You were going into shock.”

My face crumples as a sob rips out of me so forcefully that when I look down, I’m surprised I don’t see an open wound in my chest. Tears pour down my face, and I struggle to catch my breath.

“Jesus Christ,” Powers curses before he kicks off his boots and climbs in behind me. He pulls me back so his chest is pressed to my back. “Breathe with me, baby.”

I try, I really do, but it’s just too much. Everything I did—everything I sacrificed—was for nothing. I didn’t bring them peace. I walked them into a war and then left them on the battlefield to fight alone. God, they must hate me.

Powers wraps his arms around my chest and holds me tight. His lips move against my ear. “Breathe with me, baby. In for five and out for five.”

I focus on the sound of his voice and the feel of his chest moving up and down and slowly mimic his actions until eventually my chest doesn’t feel like it’s going to cave in anymore.

“I’m sorry,” I hiccup.

“No, I’m sorry. That was fucked-up and not how you should have found out. That’s on me. I swore I’d look after you and fell at the first fucking hurdle. I let you down.”