Page 45 of Best Laid Plans

“That’s why you were always cagey when anyone brought up you working there, because you never did,” Midas says softly.

She’s crying now, swiping at her tears like she’s embarrassed. “Lil left me a note.”

The mood in the room shifts again. “Take a second, Lil. There’s no rush,” Dice says gently. I give him a nod in appreciation and notice most of the others are looking at her with concerned expressions, even Circus and Probe.

“I still have the note. It’s in a safety deposit box, but I’ve got a copy of it on my phone if you’ll let me read it?” She looks at Havoc, who nods. She pulls it out with a shaky hand and clears her throat before she begins.

To the other me.

I don’t even know your real name. I didn’t want to know; it would have made this so much harder to think of you as a person and not just my replacement.

I hiss at the callousness of her words. Lil shivers, so I rub my hands up and down her arms.

I know you think you get it, but you don’t. I married him. Gave him everything, but it was never enough. He told me what to study, what to wear, what I could and couldn’t eat—the demands were endless.

The first time I left him, I went to my parents. My father was firmly on James’s side. I wonder if he was still on his side when James killed him.

My mother was on my side until her husband was killed. Then she blamed me for bringing that man into our lives, forgetting that it was she and Daddy who introduced us. It didn’t matter in the end. She died in a car accident a month later. I knew it was James, but he made me sound like I was crazy. He threatened to have me committed to a long-term mental health facility. I knew then I had to be smarter about it, so I faked my death and chose a life for myself that was as far removed from my old one as possible.

I won’t say it was paradise. I missed the money, the clothes, the respect that came with being a plastic surgeon’s wife. Nobody cares about club whores, but it’s being a nobody that stops him from finding me. So I stay, I fuck and suck and pretend to enjoy it.”

There is some cursing, but I focus on Lil. I never met the other one, so I have no feelings beyond my anger toward the woman.

“I’ve known for a while it was time to move on,” she continues. “The monotony of it all is killing me. I think my next reincarnation might involve a sugar daddy so that I can have the best of both worlds. I know you think I’m a horrible person for doing this, but can you really be sure you wouldn’t do it too?”

She swallows. “Bear and Snake are planning a coup. They’ve been tight-lipped about it, but Lenny likes to talk when I’m sucking him off. I know when it’s going to go down, and I know how some of it’s going to play out, but I only know what Lenny does, and clearly, they’ve kept some stuff from him. Either way, if you’re reading this, you know I set you up, and for that I’m sorry. Part of me hopes you died and never see this and realize how much of a selfish coward I am. If you are reading this, though, you have two choices. One, be me. It’s what you’ve been training for, after all.”

“What a bitch,” Ambros snaps, making her head jerk up toward him. “I’m serious. I get some of these guys feel some loyalty toward her, but she was never our Lil.” He points to himself, Hoops, Dice, and me.

“Let her finish, man,” G says before anyone jumps in to contradict him.

Lil takes a deep breath before continuing. “The other choice is to tell them the truth. Of course, they won’t believe you because I never did get around to speaking to Blade. They’ll either kick you out or bury you; guess it depends on who wins, Bear or Blade.”

Probe hits the table with his fist and gets to his feet, making Lil flinch. He freezes when he sees her reaction. His face falls, and all of a sudden, the anger he’s been carrying like a cloak slips from his shoulders, and he just looks worn out and old.

“I’m not mad at you, Lil. Even when I am, I would never lay my hands on you. I’d never hurt you like that.”

“You don’t need to touch me to hurt me, Probe. I’m somewhat of an expert on that fact.”

He dips his head, his shoulders slumping.

The room is quiet for a moment before Havoc clears his throat. “According to the timeline, Lil died not long after what went down here. She didn’t move on and find a sugar daddy.”

“Well, she didn’t kill herself. Not if she was found in a grave,” Midas states with a grunt.

“Anyone remember if Hannibal said where the grave was?”

G starts typing on his laptop, but it’s Lil who answers. “She was buried at Yellow Creek State Forest.”

G looks at her. “How do you know that?”

“Because I’m the one who buried her.”

Chapter Fifteen

LIL

I brace, waiting for the explosion of anger and threats, for them to tear me apart piece by piece. I’m so fucking sick of it all that I don’t even care anymore. Let them take their pieces.