Page 35 of Best Laid Plans

None of us move as we watch the agents walk away, doing nothing to help any of the bystanders. They climb into their car and leave before I take my first deep breath of relief.

“Fucking pricks,” Havoc mutters before he looks at me, his eyes scanning me from head to toe. “You good?”

“I am now that I know everyone is okay.”

“A large part of that is because of you,” Kruger says, reaching over to give me a hug. “Thank you for getting to Theo. Means a lot.”

“I might not know him, but Powers gave me a crash course on some of the things I missed. I know how much he means to you and Delphi. I wasn’t leaving this place until I found him. Luckily, he recognized my name and had no issue leaving with me, or things might have been a little trickier.”

“He’s a teenage boy, and you’re hot, Lil. That kid would have followed you off a damn cliff.”

“Okay, let’s not make it weird,” I grumble, making him laugh.

As soon as Kruger pulls back, Powers tucks me into his side and wraps his arms around my shoulders. “I’m taking her back to the clubhouse. I know we have more shit to have out, but she needs rest.”

“Agreed. Go. We won’t be far behind you. Everything else can wait until later.”

It should annoy me that they’re talking about me like I’m not here, but I can’t summon the energy to care. I let Powers lead me through the chaos and down to the parked truck, thankfully on the other side of the fire truck blocking the street. He holds the door open for me and helps me in before he opens the back door for Lucy.

I fasten my seatbelt, rest my head against the window, and am out for the count before the engine even starts up.

I’m so out of it, I don’t notice the note left on the windshield. But Powers does.

* * *

Soft voices pull me from sleep. I can tell they’re trying to be quiet, but I’m not used to the noise of having anyone around when I’m sleeping anymore. It sets off some kind of internal warning.

I feel a warm weight across my legs and crack my eyes open to see Lucy out cold herself. Glancing around, I see Legs and Delphi talking to each other, sitting in chairs on my left, while Neveah and Citi sit in chairs on my right. Seeing them together like that is still a little jarring, but I’m so happy that Citi escaped and made a life for herself here near her sister.

I swallow, remembering what James did to her and her daughter. I tense up, which draws Delphi’s attention. She looks at me warily, and it takes me a second to remember why.

So much has happened since that fateful night. It almost feels like a lifetime ago.

“Hi,” she says softly, making the others turn to look at me.

“Hey.”

“I know you might not be comfortable with me being here, but I just wanted to thank you for what you did for Theo.”

“You’re welcome. And you don’t have to leave. I really don’t mind.”

“I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“Well, it’s not every day a girl wakes up surrounded by women that resemble a coven, but that’s not on you.”

She snorts out a laugh but takes her seat again.

“Let me just say this once, and then we can just put it behind us for good, okay?” I tell her, shuffling to sit up, feeling awkward lying down while they loom over me.

“What happened to me wasn’t your fault. I made a choice. Me over the old ladies and kids. And I still stand by that choice. I didn’t know then how things were going to play out. I hadn’t even known I’d been spotted until one of the prospects grabbed me by my hair and dragged me into the barn. What happened in there happened—no changing that. But I’d have done worse if it meant the kids weren’t subjected to it.”

“I don’t really understand what you did, or how, or even when, to be truthful. I didn’t really know the other Lil. She kept to herself, other than when she was with one of the men. She was polite, but we weren’t friends. She wasn’t friends with anyone. Not like you.”

I blow out a shaky breath, making a loose hair skate across my face. “I didn’t want to be friends with anyone either. I know why she was the way she was. Having friends meant having people to lose. That way was safer. But I’d been alone for so long that it was impossible to shut everyone down. I hoped James would eventually forget about me, but deep down, I knew that would never happen. Not unless he thought I was dead and he could move on to his next… I couldn’t do that to the girl who would come after me. I never faked my death, not like Lilian did. But I ran and hid, not thinking about the fact that I’d made myself a game.”

My eyes move to Citi. “If I’d have stayed, or gone back when I realized he’d found me, he may never have touched you or Star, and I’m so sorry for that. Capone is dead because of me, and that’s something I can never take back.”

“No. I’m so tired of us women being weighed down with guilt that is not ours to carry. Capone died because a monster slipped into our lives. But he wasn’t the only monster we’ve encountered. There are always monsters lurking in the dark, ready to strike. If I had killed myself when I had the chance, I wouldn’t have buried so many babies. But then I wouldn’t have Star. If Delphi had seen past the mask her husband wore, she’d have a little boy right now, only she wouldn’t have the teenage one who currently owns her heart. And Legs wouldn’t have Hero and Midas because Delphi wouldn’t have been around to save them. We could have all done things differently in hindsight, but different doesn’t mean better. It’s a hypothetical world that doesn’t exist. What Snake did wasn’t Delphi’s fault, and what James did wasn’t yours. And we’re done blaming ourselves for shit that happened to us.”