Page 6 of No Rest for the Wicked

I had to get him back.

“Are you alright, dear?” Madame Matase asked, softer this time. “Had the two of you grown close?”

I straightened and took a deep, smooth breath. “Something like that. I’ll be fine, I just⁠—”

Doug McDongle slapped his invoice down onto the reception desk. “Need your signature here and we’ll begin!” he bellowed.

“Right. Yes.” One problem at a time. I scanned the invoice until my gaze landed on the enormous fee. “Is that the right amount of zeroes?”

We also really needed Victor Reynard back because there was no way we could pay that bill without him.

“Oh! Look at that! My mistake! You’re right!” Doug took the invoice back, pulled a pen from his boiler-suit pocket, and scribbled on the invoice.

Phew, there had been no way we’d be able to afford that⁠—

He handed the bill back. “Almost gave you the deal of the century there, ha! Ha!”

He’d added another zero.

“I, erm . . .” I cleared my throat. “Just give me an hour and I’ll get you your deposit.” Turning to Madame Matase, I flashed what I hoped to be a totally normal, everything was fine, and in no way distraught smile. “Please call Zee’s room and ask him to summon a car for us.”

It was time to head to Reynard Technologies, where we’d get our vampire back. All the other emergencies had to get in line.

CHAPTER 2

“Fuck me, this day just keeps getting better.” After he’d vanished his wings, Zee shuffled himself into the car’s luxury back seat. He’d changed out of his gloop-covered net-vest and kilt, and into his multicolored patchwork pants, boots, and a semi-transparent white shirt. The type that turns invisible when wet. “The lube incident we shall never speak of almost ruined it, but then wham, Daddy Vampire checks out. Best fucking birthday ever. No more Reynard, no more fucked-up dreams, no more lusting after Fancy Fangs.” He flopped back, horns almost touching the rear window, and sighed in bliss. “So, where we going?”

“To get him back,” I said, clipping my seatbelt home.

“Fuck my life.”

“Wait, it’s your birthday?”

“Maybe. Demons don’t really do birthdays, it’s a human thing. But they seem like fun. A whole day to celebrate being me. What’s not to like?”

“So you picked today?”

“Trying it on for size.” He rolled his head to peer over at me. “If Victor Fancy Fangs wants to give me a gift by leaving, we should respect his wishes and turn this car around. Let’s go somewhere fun, get wasted, and fuck—but no penetration because, you know, my little guys might eat your brains from the inside. Whatever.”

I’d have liked nothing more than to go and get wasted and fool around with Zee, but we also had several mounting problems that weren’t going to go away by being ignored.

“I can’t let Victor go back to his family, Zee. We’ll stop at Reynard Technologies first and I’ll talk to him.” Hopefully he’d be at the office and not Vampire Mansion. I didn’t much fancy a round two with Princess Daisy. “Besides, he can’t know it’s your birthday if you’ve only just decided it’s today. So his leaving can’t be a gift.”

“Ugh. You don’t see me flouncing off for attention. Fancy Fangs is such a fucking drama llama. Look at me, I’m a vampire, so emo and complicated.”

“I doubt Victor has flounced anywhere in his life.”

“Was his tea too fucking cold? Did his precious cabinet break? What happened that was so bad he had to leave us? He sucks.”

I turned my face away and watched the city glide by the window. “Yeah, no, I’ve no idea.”

“Adam Vex?” Zee crooned. “What did you do?”

“Oh, you know, pfft, nothing.” This wasn’t the right time to have The Talk with Zee. What if the truth drove him away too? I couldn’t lose him as well, I just couldn’t. My heart wouldn’t take it.

“Okay.” Zee shrugged.

Well, that was . . . easy. Too easy. I side-eyed Zee and found him twisted on the seat, his whole body facing me, his suspicious expression doing all the talking for him. Then his eyes widened. “Fuck, is it because I gave him a frog?”