Page 44 of No Rest for the Wicked

“Whatever it is, Zee can hear it.” I’d joined them both next to the portal now too.

Zee smirked. “Ha! Me and Adam are a team. There’s no Victor in team.”

“If you’re certain, Adam, as it involves some issues you’ve been somewhat reluctant to discuss.”

“It’s fine.” Whatever it was, Zee could hear it. I’d also had just about enough of Victor’s secrets, and if he knew what this was, then the time to tell us was now. Not later, not after some other emergency had distracted everyone. Right now.

“Very well. As you saw during your earlier visit, Reynard Technologies has a research and development department.”

“That’s where that monitoring thing is, that tracks all the Lost Ones,” I said.

“That’s right. I was in the process of shutting it down when Gideon took over. But there is one Lost One nobody has ever found. A certain individual said to hold immense power. A being who would be a threat to humanity, and in the wrong hands, perhaps the entire world. Project Prophecy was tasked with finding such an individual—should they exist.”

Oh dear. “Anyhoo, wow. Look at the time. We should get back to the party, and to finding out how to save Jimmy’s family. Right. Let’s go do that.” I turned my back and almost got away with it, but Zee’s tail coiled around my wrist, and gently pulled, keeping me from escaping.

“Kitten? What’s Victor talking about?”

“What?” I laughed. “Nothing. Nothing at all. Just some silly apocalypse thing.”

“Oh right, just the end of the world. Sure.” Zee shrugged, but the sarcasm lacing his tone wasn’t the amused kind.

“You know,” I began, as a new plan formed in my mind, and a way to distract everyone from the topic of me. “If we were to go through this portal, we’d end up right inside Reynard Technologies. Once there, we could find Jimmy’s family using that monitoring software, and maybe you can shut it down for good. Then we get back here using the portal and nobody would know it was us?”

Both of them stared. Victor wore his resting Reynard face, suggesting he either loved the idea, hated it, or was singing the lyrics to “Baby Shark” in his head. But Zee’s eyes were narrow. He knew I’d changed the subject to get around explaining why I did not want to discuss the apocalypse.

The seconds ticked by, the portal throbbed behind them both, and the weight of my big secret pushed in from all around.

Victor, standing slightly behind Zee and out of his line of sight, glanced at him, then at me. “I’m sure I’m wrong,” he said, rescuing me. “And this is just a calculation error that has opened up a random door above your bed, Adam. A mere . . . mishap.”

“Yes.” I clicked my fingers. “That’s exactly what this is. An accounting error.”

“Someone typed the wrong numbers into an Excel spreadsheet and summoned a pussy-shaped portal to Adam’s room?” Zee asked, his face screwed up in doubt.

“Erm . . . yeah?” I ventured.

“Huh, okay. I guess that’s a thing that happens now.” Zee ran a hand through his gelled hair, sweeping it back from his horns. “Right, so, we are all getting lubed by the portal, so we can fuck up Gideon Cain’s hostile takeover of Reynard’s business and search for Jimmy’s kidnapped family. Right?”

“But first,” Victor added, “We need Little Jimmy’s real name.”

CHAPTER 11

The party was in full swing in the bar. The jukebox played at full volume, Tom Collins spun his unfiltered, expletive-peppered magic, and the few remaining guests we had were at least enjoying their free drinks.

Victor collected Little Jimmy’s cannister and we huddled in a quieter corner to open it.

“I vote Adam talks to him,” Zee said. “Jimmy hates Vampire Daddy, and I’ve already taken one for the team tonight.” Scabbing bits of goo had begun to flake off Zee’s wings like dandruff.

“Agreed,” Victor said.

I was just glad we weren’t discussing the Prophesied One, and would have done anything at that point to make sure it stayed that way. “Okay.” I grabbed the cocktail cannister in both hands and cracked the seal on the lid. “Hey buddy, you in there?”

A hiss came back, like I’d trapped a snake in the can.

“I’d be fucking furious too, if I’d been shoved in a tiny can,” Zee said.

“If you remember correctly,” Victor said. “You were the one who put him in there.”

“Ssh. Nobody likes vampires.”