Page 47 of Great Service from Top to Bottom

“Nope. You passed out, we tidied up, made sure you were safe and comfortable, then I showered while he brooded in the chair, stewing in a fuck ton of emo vampire feelings.”

“You didn’t talk about those feelings?”

“Ha. Ha. Fuck no. He said it didn’t happen. I agreed. Then he went on to say how curses are bad news blah blah, Daddy Vampire noises, protect Adam—duh—and he’d see to it the SSD left us alone.”

“How’s he going to do that?”

“Who the fuck knows? He’s a shady fuck. I don’t trust anyone who looks hot wearing fucking old-man suspenders.”

“He does look hot in suspenders.”

“So fucking hot. And that shit he does with his voice? Fuck. Me. I hate him.”

“Yeah, me too,” I fake agreed.

Zee huffed a laugh, and we settled into a comfortable silence, listening to the hotel groan and doors slam around us. I laid my head on his chest and listened to his heart thump. I had no idea what time it was, but I did know we needed to get back to work. Chef Étrange wanted to discuss a new menu, Madame Matase had plans for renovating one of the old rooms we hadn’t touched yet, and a few of the guests had complained about the noises in the attic, which meant I’d need to have a chat with Shadow. Then there was still the whole trying-to-stay-out-of-jail-by-working-for-Agent-Leomaris thing.

It could have been worse.

We eventually agreed to drag ourselves out of bed. Zee was going to try his hand at making cocktails so the bar could reopen, and I had admin to organize.

We spent the rest of the afternoon buried in running the hotel, and it was early evening by the time Reynard reappeared.

“And what may I get for you, Your Royal fucking Highness. I can make a Dirty Martini, Mojito, and Manhattan. I looked them all up on the internet and got bored after the M’s, but that still makes me a self-certified expert in fancy beverages.”

Reynard sat at the bar, considered Zee’s almost-polite greeting, and said simply, “Tea, please.”

“Tea?” Zee rolled his eyes, then his horns, and would have rolled his wings too, had they not been hiding so he’d fit behind the bar. “Fucking tea? What the fuck? No wonder Tom Collins was so fucking grumpy. Underappreciated and overworked. This shit is an art, and Daddy Vampire wants tea.” He continued to grumble, found a teapot, a cup of hot water and a teabag, and dumped all three in front of Reynard. “Make it your-fucking-self, Your Grace. Next!”

Zee didn’t see how Reynard’s lips ticked, but from the stool next to him, I did. Reynard might actually be enjoying Zee’s outbursts.

“It’s almost like having Tom Collins back,” he remarked, fixing his tea with precise hand motions.

“Almost,” I agreed, and sipped my whiskey with its paper umbrella. Every drink Zee made came with a colorful cocktail umbrella. He also wore a cocktail umbrella tucked behind a horn. “Zee mentioned you’re going to meet Agatha de La Cour?”

“We are going to meet her, yes. You and I. I’ve already spoken with her over the phone and made the necessary introductions. We’re going to examine the goods in person. I want you there as my personal assistant.”

“The fuck?!” Zee reappeared, tail lashing. “There’s no fucking way you’re taking Adam to a meet-and-greet with a syndicate crime boss. The last time you took him out, your leech family kidnapped him. Remember? We had fucking words. You got all bitey while I had my tail around your neck.”

“Those were atypical circumstances and if you recall, you were also there, and did not prevent Adam from being taken either.”

“Excuse fucking me? Erm, whose wife was it again? Wait, what was her name? Hm? Baroness something. Wait, I got it.” He clicked his fingers. “Oh yeah, Baroness Reynard. Is my name Reynard? No. Do I have a wife? Or fangs? No. I do not.”

“Frankly, I doubt anyone would commit to a relationship with someone as flippant and foolhardy as you.”

Zee blinked, then narrowed his eyes. “Marriage is an archaic contract. Who needs a piece of paper to say they love someone? Oh wait, vampires do.”

“Marriage is two lives or more, combined for the greater good.”

Zee fluttered his lashes. “How’d that work out for you, Your Royal Highness?”

Reynard merely glowered back. “I wouldn’t expect a demon to understand.”

“Because of my dick for brains?” Zee fluttered his lashes. “You wanna take this outside for round two?”

“You did not best me last time, demon⁠—”

The wards tingled. Oh dear. They were getting worse.