Page 16 of Great Service from Top to Bottom

I couldn’t put it off any longer.

I had a curse to patch up. And curses, unfortunately, required sacrifices.

I was going gremlin hunting.

CHAPTER 5

Gremlin hunting went about as well as expected.

I could explain what happened, or I could just say it ended with a furious gremlin in a pet carrier, a tear in my shirt, and Zee swinging a frying pan, trying to swat a second gremlin from riding his horns like a buckaroo. The little critter eventually let go, and flew back into a hole in the wall.

“I can fucking hear it,” Zee growled, ruffling his hair. “It’s laughing. It’s fucking laughing back there.” He set the pan down on the counter. “Kitten, do other hotels have these problems? Are we doing something wrong?”

We were in the back part of the hotel, where the windows had rotted out and the gremlins had turned it into their own personal theme park. I’d suggested to Shadow they might like to eat more of them, but apparently gremlins were too “bony” and they’d gone off them. They had moved on to eating the enormous, slightly terrifying spiders.

Zee shook himself all over and eyed the angry gremlin in its carrier. It hissed back at him. “Why do you want one?”

“Oh, it’s just a thing I have to do. Gremlin control.”

“Good. The little dicks are getting ballsy.”

I flung a towel over the carrier, to calm the angry gremlin. “Thanks for helping me snag one.”

“Sure, and thanks for the help with the ketchup bottle.” Zee beamed. He’d already extracted the man’s cock from the bottle before I’d arrived, with a lot of help from Zee’s lubes and some deep-breathing techniques.

As our gazes lingered together, Zee’s smile faded. “I’d better get back to concierging before the guests get frisky⁠—”

“Zee, what’s goin’ on with us?”

“Us? What?” He clamped his wings closed and squeaked, “Nothing.”

“Yeah, but something is. You’re avoiding me.”

“Pfft. What?” he laughed. “That doesn’t sound like me. Anyway, bye.” He poofed away, leaving a sprinkling of purple sparks.

When I didn’t have a gremlin in a cage and a ritual to perform, I was going to pin Zee down and demand he talk. But for now, my curse was more important. “Okay, buddy,” I told the gremlin. “It’s just you and me.” Technically it was him or me, but the gremlin didn’t need to know that.

After taking the little guy back to my room, I flicked the lock on my door so we wouldn’t be interrupted, and carried him into the bathroom, where Zee wouldn’t poof in unannounced. He’d ditched me so fast earlier, that he probably wouldn’t appear anyway.

I set the pet carrier down and gathered some ingredients from under the sink. The first time I’d whipped up a curse, I’d been desperate, on the run, and had no idea if the curse would even stick.

With a space cleared on the floor, I mixed a few branded shampoos together—the artificial and organic-herb additives worked fine for dandruff and curses—and sat cross-legged opposite the pet carrier. I had everything I needed. My shampoo potion, a sponge, towels, and a razor.

“Okay, little guy.” I peeked under the towel. Two big eyes blinked from the gloom at the back of the carrier. “It’s not personal,” I told it. “It’s actually for the benefit of everyone. You’re going to be a hero, really.”

Oh my stars, those words made my insides churn. The gremlin whimpered.

I huffed. “Look, if this doesn’t work, then I have to go to a sorcerer, and that’s really risky for someone like me. Sorcerers and my kind—” I hissed in a breath. “Let’s just say, we don’t get along. Don’t you want to be a hero? I mean, your family will never know, I guess. Do you have a family? Gremlin babies?”

My heart sank.

No. Nope. I had to do this.

It was just one gremlin. Shadow ate them all the time.

I opened the carrier door and made psst psst noises. “C’mon little guy.” It whimpered again. “I’ll make it quick.” But even as I said it, I was already slumping back. I had the razor in my left hand, ready to do what was necessary, but as I looked at it now, I set it down.

“Oh dear.” I couldn’t do it.