Page 68 of Witchy Chick

He blinked and refocused on me then glanced at my husband before his lips curled into a truly diabolical smile. “Your husband is the Council’s Teeth? And you hated all things superstitious. How deliciously ironic.”

I sighed heavily. “I know. My husband has face-tattoos. Wait! What happened to Lucy? If you’re a vampire, is she…?”

He frowned. “She’s a vampire as well. Unfortunately, she had to choose between death and undeath, and she chose undeath.”

I stared at him. Lucy was the best cleaner of any foster siblings I’d ever had. She’d married young, and been too stupidly in love with him for it to last, but apparently now they’d be undead together forever. “Hm. I’m trying not to judge, but vampires are so…” cliché.

“Powerful. Terrifying. Things you don’t want to casually control with your mind.”

After a beat of staring into his red eyes of death and extinction, I nodded. “Exactly that. And I never want to control another one with my mind. It’s just that I was drunk in a bar. At least I didn’t make out with a teenager that time.”

And I’d said that out loud. Somewhere behind me, Sage gasped in horror. I’d meant to take that with me to the grave. Maybe I could get one of the Council to kill me right this second. Lark? No, he was looking faint and eying the encroaching vampires like they were a much greater threat than my husband and myself. The grand dame of the council, otherwise known as Grandma? No. She was staring at the vampires like she’d suddenly had a broken pipe in the middle of her bridge game. His sister was dead. Claire the ex-fiancée? She could be counted on to want me dead, but instead of looking at me, she was scowling at Clark, like she didn’t know if she wanted to kill him or have him save them from the vampires. She wasn’t thinking about killing me at all.

Disappointing. That’s what this was.

I sighed deeply. “Does anyone want to fight undead baboons?” I asked, just because I was so far out of my depth, I couldn’t even begin. I was pregnant? Twins again? How could I possibly survive that? Death now would be better than six years of not sleeping. I wasn’t breastfeeding them. Not this time. Even though it was the best start for babies, and what kind of monster would I be if I didn’t give my children the best possible start to their lives of magical conquest and domination?

My own childhood hadn’t been ideal. Foster care was more caring, as hard to believe as that was. My parents had looked at me as a tool to force the council to its knees. And there was so much pain. But at least now I knew Latin.

“No one wants to fight baboons,” the vampire said. Hazen. Absurd to think of Lucy the cleaning whirlwind married to a vampire.

“Is Lucy here?” I asked Hazen. What had Clark called him? The Grand Master? Wasn’t that a chess term?

“No. I don’t bring her to these kinds of battles. I didn’t realize that our upright Mary was the Heir of Hoar House.”

I flinched at the name. So unfortunate. “Yes. And I’m pregnant with twins. Again.”

His lips twitched. “And you made out with a teenager when you got drunk in a bar.” He shook his head, tsking. “How the mighty have fallen.”

“At least I’m not undead.”

“No, you’re just the mistress of the undead. That’s much more civilized.” He gestured, and a baboon came hurtling out of the trees to land at his feet looking confused. Ah. He could also control the undead.

I smiled at him and gestured. “Feel free to take them with you.”

His lips curled. “I wouldn’t dream of diminishing the power and authority of one of the few bastions against madness and magic. Clark? How do you fit that body into the other one? Truly magical. We must have you all up to the castle for dinner some time. I’m sure Lucy would love to hear the story of your drunken revelry.”

I groaned and put my face in my hands. “Monkey, feel free to do something useful,” I told him. “Like kill me now.”

A pearlescent portal appeared behind the grand dame. Grandma. She raised her chin and gave me a cool smile. “We will also have you for dinner some evening. Perhaps you’d like to come for All Hallow’s Eve. Lark, this way,” she commanded, and the evil twin finally started moving in the right direction, towards her.

Everyone stepped through the portal, vanishing and leaving me with Clark and the vampires.

The Grand Master gave me a slight nod. “We should go as well. Lucy will be so glad to see you again. And Gloria. Have you told Gloria all about your newfound talents?”

I stared at the evil vampire and his vicious smile. “So sorry to see you go,” I finally said.

He laughed and the air became dark and flickering then they were gone. No vampires, no witches or wizards or whatever, except for my own family, and all those undead monsters I had to put to rest.

I sat down on the ground where I was and began the arduous process of mentally making squirrels and robins bury themselves deep enough that they wouldn’t wash up after a good rain.

Clark sat and pulled me into his lap, warm and comforting when I desperately needed warmth and comfort.

“Is that it?” Sage asked, kneeling next to me, frowning at me. “It was so interesting when she had my mind in her control. I wanted her to do it again so I could figure out how she managed.”

Could I smack the girl? “When you almost roasted your mother? Yes, that was fun.”

She rolled her eyes. “Dad wouldn’t let me hurt you. Also all the animals.”