Page 98 of AMS.TER.strum

‘Jij bent hier!’ His thrilled voice makes a thorn of guilt surface, about me not being here when this happened, about them going through it all alone, when they refused to as much as let me sleep in a different room when I was in pain.

I crouch at the other side of the bed and touch the outlined leg over the covers. ‘How are you doing, buddy?’

‘I’m okay. Slaperig,’ he says.

I playfully squeeze his shin. ‘How come you’re not sleeping, if you’re sleepy? Maybe you need that knock-knock-knock song?’

He giggles, and it’s the best sound in the world. Before I can ask him to lower the volume so that we don’t wake up his mom, Corrie’s head darts up. She looks around, startled, but immediately sends Otto a smile, delighted to see her son happy.

She utters my name hesitantly, as if afraid that she’s imagining it all and I’ll disappear if she blinks.

‘I’m here.’ I send Otto a wink, before going to her.

She unfurls her body slowly. ‘How…?’

‘It took a ten-hour flight; it was like taking the tram, really.’ I loop my arms round her back and pull her closer, leaning to press a kiss on her dishevelled hair.

Corrie slaps my chest playfully. ‘How did you find out about all this?’

I lift an admonishing brow. ‘The real question, friend, is how come I didn’t know?’

She buries her face in my chest. ‘I’m sorry. Everything happened so fast. Of course my phone chose the best moment to die, and when I texted you…’

‘Thankfully, your daughter was faster.’

‘Ada?’ She deflates, looking exhausted. ‘But…aren’t you supposed to be extremely busy in the coming months?’

I pull back to look in her eyes, wanting to eliminate even the slightest of doubts. ‘Corrie, nothing and I mean nothing is more important than you three. No matter how far away I am.’

‘But you have just started your concerts again.’

I press a quick kiss on her lips, the brief contact reminding me how much I need that touch. ‘Yes, and I’m here now, because shit happens and family comes first. And you three are my family.’

Whatever she is about to say is interrupted by the door opening, as a middle-aged woman followed by a younger man, both in scrubs, enters, and she smiles at Otto. ‘How are we doing today?’

‘I’m going home!’ Otto announces, and we laugh.

‘Let me check how well you are before you leave, okay?’

‘Okay…’ Otto huffs, shrugging as if it really isn’t necessary.

The doctor turns to me. ‘Good that papa is also here.’

Corrie turns to look at me, once we’re out of the room, followed by Otto’s giggles at a joke the doctor tells him. ‘Papa?’

‘Just wanted to make sure I would be allowed in…’

‘So Mr Meiers took my last name?’

I wrap her in my arms again. ‘Whatever it takes.’

A few hours later, all four of us are finally at home. We pick Ada up from school on our way back from the hospital, and my heart bursts at seeing the siblings hug each other after being separated for a day, as if it had been years. Ada is extremely careful with an impatient Otto, eager to show his sister the Band-Aids covering the scars of the laparoscopic surgery and explain what he was told happened.

Here we are again, in our universe that leaves all the world outside. It’s as if I never left, instead of being away for what felt like an eternity. Finally, I let out a sigh of relief, allow my jaw to loosen and my shoulders to relax.

We set Otto on the couch, covering him with the fluffy throw I used for five weeks, which seems like a lifetime ago and yesterday at the same time. Ada climbs on the other end, gets under the throw, and for a few moments, they wiggle their toes and play, until the little boy’s eyes start closing. Not long after, his sister follows suit.

We head for Corrie’s bedroom to talk without worrying we’ll wake them up.