Page 65 of AMS.TER.strum

‘Hey, guys, great to see you again.’

It takes them a few moments for the information to register, with Corrie explaining that I travelled from very far, just to see them. When they finally come into my open arms, she sends me a smile and a wink that shouldn’t make me blush but it does, and I don’t care, because right now, I’ve got all I want to be at peace.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Now

Corrie

Lola waits for our post-school-run coffee inside the cosy café on Hugo de Grootplein. She lifts her head from her phone when I step in, then presses the button to switch off the device with a fuck-off expression.

‘Everything all right?’

She huffs. ‘Just a client being slightly paranoid. How about you?’

‘Good, good.’ I beam. ‘The kids have been with Oma and Opa since yesterday and…’

‘OMG, you had sex!’

We’re lucky enough for the music to not stop right when she squeals, still, I turn a deep crimson as if she’s screamed it from the rooftops.

‘I can neither confirm nor deny.’

‘About time, girl! And?’

‘Phenomenal…’ I sigh.

‘Why aren’t you in bed with him then?’

‘Luuk has a meeting. We’ll see each other in a couple of hours.’

‘And?’

‘You’re asking me questions I don’t have the answers to.’

‘Nor does anybody when a relationship starts. We don’t need another reminder of how mine started and how it went…’

‘It’s just that… after all those years of his presence being a constant in my life, I realise how much I’ve been craving for it to become…’

‘Permanent?’ Lola completes the sentence, adding the word I don’t dare to utter.

‘That…’

‘Corrie…’ Lola reaches for my hand, her olive-tinted skin a stark contrast against my light one, her dark hair tumbling forward as she leans towards me. ‘You have every right to be afraid and cautious. Having two more people to consider makes things more complicated…’

‘It does, doesn’t it? Two more hearts to be broken if…’

Lola’s acknowledgment of my feelings cracks the dam that keeps them restrained, and now they’re about to spill out in a deluge. ‘What if we do start as the perfect couple, like all those previously happy couples do, only to end up resenting each other, having lost a partner and a friend?’

‘What if…’ Lola starts, expression pensive, ‘it actually does go well? I mean, if you can magnify catastrophes, why not magnify the positive things as well? What if you allow yourself to be happy?’

‘Trying to…’

‘While you’re at it, do make up for the lost time and have sizzling sex! Give that bunny some rest.’

When we walk out of the café, the rain has stopped and the foliage on the trees and the colours of the flowers are more intense under the sun that’s brighter now, unlike my muddled thoughts. From my vague workplans to Luuk’s lifestyle and how we might fit in it to everything in-between, I’m splish-splashing in a sea of restrictions, wondering whether I am being unfair to him. To us. Am I looking for ways to not bask in this marshmallow-like bliss by telling myself this is too good to be meant for me? Will the other shoe drop? And if it does, what should I be bracing for?

Every bit of overthinking is overshadowed by the stunning figure standing in front of my door, holding a huge bouquet of lilacs. His heart-stopping smile widens with every step I take towards him. When we’re standing opposite each other, our faces mirror the same bright smile.