Page 12 of AMS.TER.strum

Do not dare to back out!

Bea

We didn’t create that masterpiece for nothing!

Lola

You’re not having second thoughts, are you?

Lola

Ditch them!

Dory

Absolutely no backing out!

Dory

Some of us need to live vicariously through you.

Lola

Absolutely!

Me

I won’t, I promise!

Bea

And no cockblocking thoughts!

Lola

Please, create some content for the next cock-tales session!

Now I almost expect all three of them to show up at the bar where I’m meeting David, not too far from my place. And it appears that well-wishing texting isn’t over yet.

Mum

Have fun tonight, my baby!

Mum

Don’t forget: my strong Coraline is also allowed to let her hair down.

Mum

Even if it’s not a forever, letting off some steam is always good.

Mum

Love you!

I send heart- and kissing emojis to them, tempted to add the blushing emoji of embarrassment for Mom’s comment, but I don’t want to hear more well-meaning advice. I appreciate her encouragement, but her strong daughter has a few qualities of a chicken, and I don’t want to disappoint her by mentioning I’m terrified of this date. Of having to make small talk, searching for hints of affinity that might pave the way to togetherness, all the while wondering whether it will all sink under my feet the moment I allow myself to relax, convinced that the ground is stable.

Not a constructive route of thinking before a night that’s supposed to be pleasant, so I stop myself right there and then. Still, I have half an hour until I leave, and I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t want to sit, afraid I might crease Bea’s masterpiece. In reality, I’m afraid I will be tempted to not get up. So I just stand in front of the window again, staring at the invisible screen, certain that the chords of that guitar are filling my living room as they do my mind.