Page 104 of AMS.TER.strum

Corrie is here, at my place, like I dreamed, and she and the kids made it a home. How many nights have I come back here after a show, the initially welcome quietness turning into a noose of stillness, as I longed not just for someone to be waiting for me, but for her. And now that we actually came home together, it’s even better than in my dreams, this knowledge that the woman I love is by my side.

‘Thank you for being here,’ I whisper in her ear.

She interrupts the trail of bites into the crook of my neck to look at me. ‘Where else would we be but home? Wherever you are.’

Her words unleash my hunger and there’s no more waiting when I devour her lips, hands going for her breasts again, now trapping those nipples in a rolling clamp that sends Corrie pushing into my touch. Suddenly, there’s too much fabric in the way, and I search for the strings that hold the dress closed, undo them and part the two flaps to reveal her lace-encased beauty. My bite on one nipple, then the other, is only for a second, before I push the sleeves down her arms to undo her pink bra and get it out of the way. When I suck hard on one freed dusky peak, Corrie’s breath hitches, and she presses harder against me. My fingers sneak under the elastic of her underwear to grab her cheeks, and I just follow the rhythm of her grinding against me, my hips bucking with every push of hers.

‘I want you…inside me,’ she manages, pushing her body to stand in front of me, the dress swishing in a pool of fabric on the floor.

‘Bedroom,’ I manage.

I sit at the edge of the bed, bringing her between my legs and lean in to kiss the mount of her belly. My tongue tickles her navel to distract my palms from tearing her underwear as I start pulling the delicate fabric down, my index wiggling in the apex of her cheeks. She shudders, goosebumps covering her skin as I move my lips lower, right above her soft wisps. My fingers slide to the front, thumbs skimming her seam, parting her folds, finding her swollen nub and pressing, circling as I slide one finger inside of her.

‘Oh, sweetheart…’ I pant, my cock aching in my jeans.

She rubs against my hand, seeking friction. ‘More…’

I add a second finger, feeling her inner walls tighten, and with the third, they contract once, and now it’s me wanting more. I curl my fingers, seeking her sweet spot, dragging more want from her. She holds my shoulders for purchase as she presses harder against my hand with every undulating move. I feel her falling apart, letting out a soft moan, nails clawed on my shoulders, before her inner walls start quivering around my fingers, her whole body shaking in waves of pleasure, eyes half-mast to look for mine, coming undone for me.

She welds her lips to mine, still panting, still squeezing my fingers inside her, then moves her mouth to my ear. ‘That’s not what I meant by unwinding.’

I love it when she’s a brat with me. ‘Really? My bad.’ I slowly take out my fingers and lick them clean, relishing in her sigh of pleasure. ‘What did you have in mind?’

When she unzips my pants, I think I will explode on the spot. When her fingers wrap around my length, I buck in her grip, seeking a tiny bit of relief. And when she aligns her entrance with my throbbing cock, starting to take me inch by inch, my mind short-circuits. She starts moving her hips slowly, hardly lifting her body, her inner walls clenching and loosening around me, her eyes drowning me like a sea I never want to swim out of.

And there’s no doubt in my mind that I’m the luckiest person alive. Because life has come full circle for me to go back to where it all began and find what I’ve been seeking and singing all along—home.

Epilogue

One year later

Corrie

‘Guys, are you ready? Luuk will be here any minute now!’

‘Ready!’ Otto jumps off the staircase and into the living room, wearing his favorite outfit: a pair of jeans, a plaid shirt and the cowboy hat Luuk brought him from his last tour.

‘Mama, will you come zip up my dress?’ Ada calls from upstairs.

I climb the stairs, casting a questioning glance at Otto, who shrugs. ‘Why don’t you ask your brother?’

‘Because I don’t want him to ruin it.’ The unspoken Duh! is audible.

‘I would be careful this time…’ Otto mumbles his protest.

I swallow my laugh. There has been one traumatic incident, involving some clumsy fingers, a stuck zipper and a crying Ada, so I totally get her. Especially when this is her favorite dress, all pinks and tulle and glitter, worn on this special day, so my little girl wants to look perfect.

The house is trimmed with bunting, and there are teal and golden balloons mid-air, because of course they had to be properly blown up with helium. I even caved to that vile foil confetti which clings onto everything and won’t go away even weeks later, because I couldn’t bear putting a barrier to their overflowing excitement.

During the time we have been preparing the celebration, both of them have been struggling to not ruin the surprise. Exchanging glances and giggles during every video call, leaving Luuk wondering what it was all about. They would purse their lips, saying ‘Nothing’ in a way that showed it was anything but. So he has probably figured out what the surprise is, at least part of it.

There’s a ping, announcing Luuk’s message. ‘He’ll be here in fifteen.’

Otto and Ada start running around, taking inventory, as if they haven’t checked that everything is in place at least ten times since this morning. I’ve done pretty much the same, and the only thing that slightly restrains me is the reminder that I’m the adult here. But we haven’t seen him in a whole week—Ada’s words.

I look around our new home of the last half year, the house Luuk bought for us while we were still figuring things out, although he insists there was nothing to figure out when it came to us being a family. He knows it makes my heart melt every single time, so he drops the declaration casually and on purpose whenever the occasion appears.

True to his promise, he made sure to have a schedule that included us spending as much time together as possible, and that also resulted in us moving to his place—our place—because he was spending most of his time at mine.