Page 102 of AMS.TER.strum

It took considerable effort for me to not punch him. I finally didn’t, only because the memory of my throbbing leg was relatively raw, and I didn’t want a throbbing hand, especially with the upcoming concerts. But I did make him call Celina and tell her to let slip that the allegations were false.

So now the world knows who I belong to, and also who my new manager is—a rising star called Leah Anderson, who approached me when rumours about me and Aaron parting ways began spreading, and I was feeling my way round manager territory.

Leah is eager and great at what she does, and also a huge fan, but at the same time aware that my family comes first. We’re looking for ways to promote my career without me having to spend months away from Corrie and the kids. We are already working on scheduling around schoolvakantie next year, and seeing how we can add more Europe dates in-between, so that I’m in ‘the other continent’ for longer periods of time.

She isn’t fond of Aaron’s buddy, Gwen. Whatever requests come from her, we examine carefully and decide accordingly. During the very short time we’ve been working together, I’m becoming increasingly, albeit cautiously, optimistic about our collaboration.

It was amazing to be able to perform again and share my music with the world, while counting down the days until Corrie and the kids came over. I don’t know who was more excited, them or me. I just know since they arrived yesterday, the smile cannot be erased from my face. The muscle is probably pulled by now, and I’m pretty sure it’ll hurt if I try to un-smile, but there’s no reason to, especially tonight.

Knowing it would be the first time for Ada and Otto to see me perform live made me more anxious than I was before my first concert, all but biting my nails out of nervousness. They were restless, what with their sleeping schedule totally out of whack due to jetlag. I was wondering what it would be like for them, so I kept stealing glances towards where they were sitting backstage, taking everything in with eyes wide open, mouths agape between smiles, enthusiastically jumping when they recognized a song. I know what they’re waiting for, and it will be the last song of the evening, but before that, I have a surprise for everyone. Once the crowd becomes quiet again, I continue.

‘Before we play the song you’re waiting for, there’s a surprise one: the song before. It’s the first time it’s ever being performed, because I’ve been waiting for a very special moment: this one. It’s called “Two Empty Seats”.’

The lights dim, and once more I’m perched on a barstool, guitar about to strum as I’m surrounded by the warm light that draws a pool at my feet. I steal a glance backstage, before turning towards the crowd again, where phone screens have started lighting up, about to record this first. Under the dark, starry sky, my voice bridges time, as the first notes fill the quiet night.

Two empty seats wait for the crowd to walk in

For two pairs of eyes from faces gone.

I carry their gaze, it sends my heart longing

Until the thought shatters it: you’re alone.

Three steps to walk on stage

Three breaths before I peek

Out in the front row

To gaze at those empty seats

Two empty seats in need to talk

Of times forever past

Of happiness cut short

Of moments only I hold fast.

A sea of heads turned my way

Little lights flickering like glances

Smiles welcoming my gaze

Lips singing all my verses

But my eyes are glued to one spot,

Right center and up front

Where two seats are meant for

Two sets of eyes, my former world

Two empty seats never give up

Hope might live forever