Page 8 of Insta [FAM]
“He is also a former New Zealand rugby player. Played for his country before coming here and he’s a single daddy. With no wifey-wife.” Charlotte is loving this. “Says here his vet practice is in Dobbs Ferry, not far from us. I think my puppy is sick.”
“You don’t have a puppy,” I say.
“Yet,” she says. “I bet if women knew he was the vet, they’d all be out there adopting pets. I might borrow my neighbor's half-dead cat.” I can’t tell if she’s joking.
“This is my point! It’s a fucking con. Then you have a devil-bunny that eats everything, and you’re paying vet bills to the hot dude who made you stupid enough to get it in the first place.” Biggest scam ever.
“I think Lola needs her rabies vaccination, I’ll take her,” Kerry pipes up, trying not to laugh. I grab Charlotte’s phone and start snapping screen shots and sending them to myself. Because the war on the bunny-pusher is only just beginning. I have hatched a plan.
“Whooo.” We all clap because everyone else does, not even sure if we’re cheering the right team, but who cares. Every Monday we take the kids to dinner after the game, and by the time we get home Holly-Anna has fallen asleep in the car.
“Carry your sister in for me please,” I ask Zach, because she’s getting too heavy for me. Inside, Lola has got a roll of paper towel and made it into snow all over the house. It’s like a white Christmas in my living room. My fucking sister obviously left her out.
Once the small kids are in bed, and Zach is engrossed in some stupid online game with his buddies, I decide it’s time to take on Dr King.
Well, if ever there was a reason to let your kids have that pet you don’t want ladies, I have found it. Meet Dr King, the resident vet in Dobbs Ferry. He can get anyone to adopt, I mean just look at him. Don’t look actually, you might get pregnant by doing that.
If your daughter’s goldfish is swimming upside down, he’s your guy. Dead hamster, no problem. He will bring it back to life with his good looks alone. Rumor has it he gives away kittens, and puppies every weekend. Doggo need his shots? I’m sure Dr King isn’t shooting blanks. The most eligible vet in the country lives right here in the suburbs, with a six-pack, tattoos and biceps that can hold onto that terrible terrier you thought would cuddle you at night. He’s single and ready to mingle with your sick furbabies. I checked — there’s no Mrs. Dr King ;) Pay him a visit at Dobbs Ferry Veterinary Hospital, or the Tarrytown Animal Shelter on weekends. You could catch yourself a sexy vet. Or fleas. Either way you’ll enjoy it.
I add the pics I sent myself while going all FBI at softball and make double sure I tag him and the clinic and shelter pages. Take that down, Dr King.
