Page 45 of Tinder B@ng

“You’re so fucking uptight. Always. Even now — you know you’re retired! You don’t need to wear a suit at home. No one fucking sees you. You don’t even own jeans, I’ll bet. Dad, you need to relax, and understand we’re just living our lives. Things are different now, it’s not like when you were twenty.” It’s like the red flag to a bull, I know she’s baiting me. Turning things around.

“No, it’s not, but just because being an ingrate is popular doesn’t mean you should do it. I know it’s not eighteen-hundred, but all a young lady has is her reputation, and if you want to be in business, or get a husband — or show face in this town, you know full well you need to protect it.”

“I do not want any of those things!” she lies. I know if she follows her plans, she’ll probably be the only woman in her company one day, and she cannot have scandal making her life harder.

“You want a job, and in this town for a young lady to be taken seriously in the IT space, Tala, you can’t have sexcapades from your youth following you like a bad smell.” It’s the truth, she’ll either be sexually harassed to the point they drive her out or she simply won’t get in to start with. “Phone and credit card, you can get them back on Thursday with your brothers.”

“What am I supposed to do until Thursday?” she shrieks now. Being cut off from cyber-space is the end of the fucking world.

“Think about your life.” I glare at her now; she’s used to getting her way, pushing me over. She’s waiting for me to fold, but this time I won’t. The tears and sniffles worked as a child, but like my boys, she needs to grow up now. “We’re done, you can go.” I don’t have more to say.

I don’t know who I thought I was punishing, them or me? Because by Tuesday night they’re driving me bat-shit crazy; without access to unlimited funds and their phones, these three are horrible assholes. They’re like caged animals. I order dinner for all of us, in the hope that feeding them might take the irritability down a notch.

Tala is still giving me the silent treatment in the hope I’ll cave in; Lycan is sulking because according to him, he’s innocent on all fronts. Fallon, after this morning’s doctor visit, has been less full of shit and just sat outside on the balcony alone all day. I want to make things right between all of us, but I also won’t cave in on their punishment. They’re only abiding by it because they respect me; they’re adults, they could just walk out and do what they like. But they’re broke-ass adults, so if they did, they’d need to get jobs.

“We need to collect my dress and the suits from Thorne Designs tomorrow, please, Dad.” Tala breaks the silence first. Internally I am saying ‘I win, I win.’

“What time?”

“Around eleven,” she says, tidying up after herself and her brothers in the kitchen.

“Let’s go early, you can take me to find some clothes that are not suits. In all your bullshit, you were right about that.” She perks up at the idea of shopping — even if it's not for her.

“Really?” she asks.

“Yes, Macy’s is right there. We can go buy me some old-retired-man clothes.”

She laughs and shakes her head. “You look old in the suits, Dad; I’m going to make you look hot.”

“Please don’t. Your attempt at making my Tinder profile hot was already a failure, thanks.” We both laugh, and she starts listing off all the things I need. It would probably be cheaper shopping for her by the sounds of it.

“At least you’ll be comfortable and won’t look like you have a carrot up your ass.” She snorts. “You’re very unapproachable, you know?”

“I am not.”

She just gives me a look. Okay, maybe I am. It’ll be good for us to spend some time together, we haven’t in a while.

Tala is up and ready to go early with a hop in her step; the past few days she’s been off color and tired. Probably as a result of the weekend away and sulking.

We get breakfast and a coffee before she drags me through Macy’s, holding up items for me to say yes or no to. I haven’t worn jeans in about eighteen years, and the only t-shirts in my closet are for the gym. I just nod at anything that doesn’t induce eye-bleeding. She collects it all and we go to the fitting room; Tala completely ignores the fact it says Mens and comes right in with me. She’s expecting a fashion show of what she thinks I should be wearing.

“I am not wearing skinny jeans, Tala,” I say from behind the curtain; there’s just some things I am not willing to try squeezing any part of me into. There’s not exactly pocket space in them, and I would rather not cut off the circulation to my dick. I toss them over the top, out to her. “Find me real men’s jeans please.” I hear her giggle as she leaves me to change. Shorts are something I haven’t worn since college, and they are a nice change. I decide her taste isn’t too bad, pulling on a light grey pair, with a short sleeve cotton button down. I look in the mirror and almost wonder who is looking back — I do look a lot younger like this.

“That’s a bit more like it,” she says looking at me, she has some jeans draped over her shoulder. “Less uptight.” I flick her the bird and go try on the jeans. This is not my idea of fun — at all. However, Tala is getting a huge amount of joy out of my embarrassment. It’s good to see her smile, and in a way I sort of like the idea of reinventing myself now that I don’t have to impress anyone anymore. She was right, no one sees me, and even if they do, it no longer matters.

With the temperatures we’ve had this summer, global warming is so real, I could get used to being less formal. My clothing was always just a way of covering up ‘my bad decisions’ as my ex called them. No one is going to hire an actuary who looks like he was hit with a wet newspaper.

“That was fun,” Tala says as we pay for my purchases and a few dresses for her. Dresses are an odd choice. She's never been a dressy girl, but it’s good to see her being feminine. Most of her life has been riding pants and a shirt.

“Can I ask that you go in at Thorne? I’ll wait in the car,” I say to her as we make the short drive.

“You don’t want to run into Channing?”

“Nope.”

“What happened there? You two were so—”

“She basically dumped me, because I have kids.” I’m honest with her.