Page 6 of Under the Same Sky

“My brother and his wife are dead.” The words spill from my mouth as if they’re being strangled out of me, tasting like cardboard. They’re a noose around my neck. “I have to go home.”

Alex pulls his hands through his hair, huffs loudly, and Carson and Benji both drop down to the floor beside me. When I look up, their eyes are red, and they’re crying.

Because fuck, Ryan was more than just my brother.

He was theirs by extension too.

Chapter Three

Reese

Maggie hands me another tissue, and places a fresh cup of tea in my hands before joining me at the kitchen island. She was already here when I got home from the hospital, and the moment she hugged me, we sobbed. She brushed my hair, told me it would be okay, and then thanked me for everything I’d done. She wanted to come sooner, but I didn’t want her to have to deal with the memorial service arrangements or worry about seeing lawyers. I thought it would be easier if she came after I’d arranged everything so that she wouldn’t have to. But damn, I was so happy to see her waiting for me on the porch. It’s been an hour since I got off the phone with Thorin, and I’ve been trying to block out what I think he must be going through, but it’s hard. He was a permanent fixture in my life for a long time, my best friend at some point, but telling him about Ryan and Melissa was harder than I anticipated, and I still have more to tell him. I tried like hell to keep it in, for both his sake and mine, but the moment he asked me what happened, it was as if I was reliving that terrible night all over again. And hearing his voice, after so many years, that was my real undoing. He sounded the same, but also different. His voice has a rich timbre to it now that he didn’t have when we were in high school. I look at Maggie, and her eyes are as puffy as mine, but she still looks beautiful with her long brown hair, green eyes, and kind face. Living in Florida has done her good, especially after everything she went through when her husband died. “Are you sure you’re fine with me being his guardian?” I ask. It bothers me that the sweet little boy, asleep in the stroller beside me, still doesn’t have a name, but I’m a mess, and after Maggie arrived, I was an even bigger mess. I didn’t think it was the right time to name a baby, not when his own mother wasn’t even here to do it.

“Of course, sweetheart.” She squeezes my hand, and her expression is the kind a mother gives a child. Loving, warm, affectionate. All the things my own mother tried and failed to be with me. “I know you’re scared, but there’s a reason Ryan and Melissa asked you to be his godmother. They wanted to know that if anything happened to them,” she inhales a shaky breath, her lip wobbling, “that he’d be loved and cared for the way he deserves to be.”

“They must’ve trusted me a whole lot then, considering the childhood I had,” I huff.

“Honey, I spoke to both of them before they asked you.”

“You did?”

“Ryan called me one day, and brought it up. You know he loved you like a little sister, you’ve been part of our family longer than you think, and when he suggested it, I told him you were the perfect choice.”

That surprises me. Maggie knows what kind of childhood I had with my parents, and what I’d done when I was seventeen. Yet, she’s never once judged me, or held it against me. I love her for it, more now than I ever have because she’s trusting me with her grandson. “Besides,” she adds, “I don’t think I have it in me anymore to raise a baby. Lord knows I had enough hell with Ryan and Thorin, even with their daddy’s help.” We both snicker because Thorin and Ryan were, in fact, a handful. Got themselves into heaps of trouble, and sometimes, I’d be right alongside them.“Did Ryan ask you what you thought about Thorin being godfather?”

“Yes,” she deadpans, which makes me snicker. This woman is as honest as the day is long. “Told him he was crazy, not because I don’t love Thorin, but because what kind of life can he give a child when he’s always on tour or making music? I told Ryan to think about it first, because if you decided you wouldn’t want him, he would be Thorin’s responsibility.”

I sigh. “I didn’t think we’d have to have this conversation so soon. Or at all.” It’s a slight change of subject, only because I don’t want to talk about Thorin right now. Seeing him in two days will be hard enough. We have a lot to talk about, too.

“I know, baby.” Maggie wraps her arm around my shoulder, and if I could cry a little more, I would. But I’m tapped out, and I guess she is too. “But, we deal with what we’re given, and sometimes, we have to trust that the good Lord has a plan, even when we can’t see it yet.”

“I’m terrified I’m going to screw this up,” I whisper. “It’s not fair that they’re gone, that they never got to meet their son. They should be here to raise him.” I turn my gaze from the baby, and find Maggie watching me. “How did you deal with it when Uncle Eli died? How did you carry on?” Elijah Decker was one of the best men I knew, and when he passed, I felt his loss as keenly as his wife and sons did. I had a soft spot for him, and him for me too, and I sometimes envied Ryan and Thorin for the dad they had. He was stern, make no mistake, but he was also kind and nurturing, and he adored his wife and sons. He’d done right by them. Taught his boys right from wrong, and most importantly, how to love a woman. “It was hard,” she replies, her eyes glazing over, “but we made a promise to each other that if one of us should go before the other, the one left behind would keep living, instead of giving up. So, that’s what I did. I said goodbye to the love of my life after thirty years of marriage, packed up my things and made a change. That’s how I kept living, and every day, I think about Eli and smile, knowing that he’s waiting for me, but until then, I have a whole lot of life left in me and I won’t waste it, not a single second. I do wish he’d gotten to meet his grandson though, he would have loved that. He would have taught him all about the horses, how to play football, and tell him about all the stunts his daddy and uncle pulled when they were still in diapers, never mind teenagers.”

I stare at the baby for a moment, and feel my lips turn up. “Eli.”

“What about him, honey?” When I meet Maggie’s eyes, she looks a little confused.

“I want to name him Elijah,” I tell her. “‘Eli’ for short.”

Just when I thought we were done for the day, Maggie sheds a few more tears. “I think that’s perfect, Reese. Thank you. Amidst all this tragedy, that is the most beautiful gift, and I think Ryan and Melissa would approve.”

“Eli Thorin Decker,” I amend.

“Oh, dear Lord,” Maggie laughs through her tears, “poor child, being named after such a nut of an uncle,” she wipes her face. “But it’s perfect. A strong name, for a strong boy.”

Just then, Eli stirs, and I know he’s either hungry or his diaper is soiled. Imani was right when she said he was an easy baby. Doesn’t fuss, sleeps well, and admittedly, despite the shitty circumstances, already has his grandma and me wrapped around his tiny finger.

“Do you want to feed him?” I ask Maggie. It’s late, but I’m not quite ready to call it a night. My body might be tired, but my mind is a whir of jumbled thoughts. I doubt I’d be able to fall asleep right now.

“If it’s all right with you, I think I’m going to get myself ready for bed. Will you be okay with him?”

“Of course, it’s been a long day for you, I understand you’re tired.”

She gives me a look. “Been a long one for you too, so make sure you also get some rest. No argument, ya hear?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” I smile, and stand to hug her. “I’m so glad you’re here, I’m not sure how much more I could have taken on my own. I got one of the guest rooms ready for you, and restocked your bathroom this morning. There’s a bed in the nursery for me.” I have an identical nursery set up in my house, something Mel insisted on when they eventually needed me to babysit, but something about not having Eli surrounded by his parents’ things feels wrong somehow.

“Sweet child,” she kisses my cheek, “I’m so grateful for you. I’ll be right upstairs if you need me.”