Page 8 of Playing Pretend

Caleb lifted his hand, and brushed his knuckles down the apple of my cheek, brushing over the spot that I’m sure was red with warmth. “Like you’re curious about me,” he replied quietly. “Like you want to know me, what it’s like to kiss me.”

That was my chance to confirm his oh-so-very accurate observation, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. So instead I said, “Every women looks at you that way, so you can’t blame me for doing the same.”

The feel of his touch made me breathless, and I bit my lip to stop the protest when he dropped his hand.

“I’ve seen that look on the faces of many women, yes, but none of them have affected me quiet the way yours does, and I don’t understand why. Nothing about you should pique my interest, and yet it does.”

My heart tripped over itself.

“What about me has you curious?” I asked bravely.

His lips tilted. “Your eyes,” he closed the gap between us, “They’re so big, and green, and for someone your age they look worldly, like you’ve seen more than you should have. You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, “But unlike everyone else, you don’t realize it, and damn if that’s not sexy.”

“You think I’m s-sexy?” I stuttered, trying for some kind of poise and failing miserably.

“Hmmm hmmm.” Caleb nodded, bringing his hands up to my throat. My eyes fluttered at the feel of his rough skin against mine, his fingertips brushing right above my pulse. “And your lips. God, they’ve driven me crazy for the last year even though you’re untouchable.”

“Is it because of my age?” I exhaled harshly. Caleb tilted my head to the side, and trailed his finger to the soft patch of flesh right below my ear. His smile turned sensual when I shivered, like he’d just discovered something he had every intention of using against me.

“Yes,” I heard his intake of breath, “But I would never dream of tainting you, ruining you. You deserve more than that, Kadence.”

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, and when I opened them again Caleb’s arctic blue eyes were bright, and unyielding. “What if I want you to ruin me?”

Caleb’s grasp on my neck tightened slightly, but it was enough to have warmth pooling between my legs. “You don’t want that. You deserve someone who’s good, someone who will put your needs above theirs. I would never do that. I would use your sweet little body to satisfy my own needs, and I don’t think I would be able to forgive myself for doing that to you.”

I remained silent, watching him carefully while trying to make sense of what he was saying. He’d been watching me, thinking about me, that much was obvious, but what I couldn’t understand was why me? He had the top pick for all the beautiful women in this city, even women my mother’s age adored him, and yet here he was, touching me, telling me that I was too pure for the likes of him. Whichever way I tried to rationalize it though, I still felt a small pang at his rejection and even if he thought he was doing the honorable thing, I still wished he would take the risk.

“You’re doing it again,” he sighed, his hot breath fanning my lips.

“What?”

“Looking at me like you want to kiss me, like you want me to kiss you.”

“I do,” I replied honestly.

Caleb stared at me without shame for a long minute, and I was convinced that was it, he was going to walk away and leave me wanting. I’d never been so happy to be wrong in my life.

“Have you been kissed before?”

I shook my head, not bothering to look away in embarrassment. I’d never dated before, let alone been kissed. The boys I went to school with were all arrogant, and shallow snots who gave a new meaning to the word ‘immature’. The only person who had ever held my interest was Caleb, and he certainly wasn’t a boy.

“No other boy has touched these lips? Not even once?” The incredulity in Caleb’s voice should have been offensive, but I was a little too enraptured with his proximity and the smell of his mouth-watering cologne to care.

“No,” I replied.

Caleb’s jaw tightened, and I saw the indecision in the black of his irises.

“You want me to be the first, don’t you?”

Ambivalence warred inside me, warning me not to take this chance. I knew if he kissed me it would ruin me for anyone else, while to him it would have been just another mouth, just another kiss. It wouldn’t have meant anything to him.

He saw the moment I stopped caring about all that, and responded with a low growl that vibrated in his chest.

I answered by leaning onto the balls of my feet, and wrapping my hands around his wrists for leverage. Carefully, I brushed my lips across his, and before I could get through the second stroke his mouth slanted across mine. He was gentle at first, but when a breathy moan escaped my lips, he slipped his tongue inside my mouth, and stole my very first kiss. It was sweet, and completely comprehensible, but it was also the perfect first kiss. He coaxed me, willing me to meet his rhythm and I did, giving as much as what he gave me. It was only after he’d broken the contact, and walked away that I realized I was right. Itwas just another kiss to him, and I was just another of those girls who got pulled into his orbit.

Long after the evening had ended, I lay in bed, and touched my lips, remembering what his had felt like. I had no idea it would be the last night I ever saw him, or that a week later my whole world, along with his, would come crumbling down.