Page 61 of Playing Pretend

THE BED DIPPED,and I stirred. I was too tired to open my eyes, but I knew it was Caleb. His cologne mixed with the clean scent of his shower gel gave him away.

“It’s too early,” I mumbled, trying to roll away. My responses were sluggish from exhaustion, so when Caleb pinned me to the bed I didn’t bother resisting.

“Too bad,” replied Caleb. His voice was hushed, and a little raspy. “Is there a reason I woke up alone?”

I sighed, and pried my eyes open. Caleb’s face was partly obscured by the shadows created by the slow rising sun, but it was clear that he was unhappy about something.

“I didn’t think you’d notice,” I replied, trying for honesty rather than derision. It was far too early for that.

Caleb pursed his lips, and slowly lowered himself onto me, resting his forearms on either side of my head. He started sifting his fingers through my hair, making my eyes flutter.

“I deserve that, but I thought we cleared this all up last night.”

He pressed his fingers against my scalp, and I exhaled. I wasn’t sure if he was doing it to distract me, but I was enjoying it nonetheless.

“We didn’t clear anything up,” I breathed out. “You just shut me up with your dick again.”

“You weren’t complaining,” he countered. “In fact, I think I remember you begging me to take you harder.”

I slowly opened my eyes again, and found Caleb’s azure gaze fixed on my face with intent, and warmth.

“It’s not my fault you’re so…” – I searched my mind for the right word that wouldn’t give Caleb any reason to become cockier than he was – “Distracting.”

“As much as I’d like to remind you of all the dirty words you actually used to refer to my dick, I’m more interested in knowing why you’re in the guest bedroom, and not in mine.”

I’d snuck out of his bed as soon as he’d fallen asleep, thinking it wouldn’t be a big deal. I was caught between the high that came from a night of hard sex with Caleb, and the self-berating that had come afterward.

“I figured that’s what you would have preferred,” I said, diverting my eyes downward. “We should have never…” My words trailed off, filling the ensuing silence with the unspoken aftermath of our first night together.

“I should have never treated you that way.” The gentleness with which Caleb spoke made me look up. “And last night was everything but a mistake.”

I begged to differ, but I wasn’t about to express that sentiment out aloud.

“You have every reason not to trust me after what I did, Kadence.” Caleb lifted his hand to trace my bottom lip with his forefinger. “But I want to prove that you can trust me.”

I stayed quiet, and I knew Caleb would interpret that as my hesitance to trust him. He wasn’t wrong.

“I have to leave, but Brae and I will be back tomorrow morning. Will you be okay here on your own?”

I nodded. “I’ll be fine.”

Caleb lowered his head, gauging my reaction with caution before he pressed his lips to mine. With my arms trapped beneath the sheet I couldn’t touch him, but the soft touch of his mouth I still yielded.

“Call me if you need anything,” he said as soon as he pulled away. “Alfie will be here too.”

“Okay,” I whispered, relieved when he lifted himself from the bed. I didn’t want to tell him I was glad he would only be back the following day. The truth was I needed some space, some time to work through the mess of feelings the night before had planted. I watched Caleb’s back as he walked out, and with the click of the door I expelled a weary breath that had been trapped in my lungs. It was time to get real with myself—time to admit that I was already too far-gone where Caleb was concerned. Determined to switch off for a few more hours, I rolled onto my side and fell asleep, savoring the quiet reprieve of a meaningless dream that pulled me away from all thoughts of my feelings for Caleb.

I SPENT MOST OF Saturday tucked away in the library with a book. By Sunday morning I was feeling more like myself, and decided to treat myself to a day in the city. I had Alfie drive me to the fresh produce market in Union Square, and didn’t complain when he climbed out of the car to accompany me. Although silent, his presence didn’t bother me, and even when I ventured into the romance section at Barnes and Noble, Alfie took it in stride. I decided to buy him a coffee from the in-house Starbucks, and took a seat by the window overlooking the square. Watching the people down below go about their Sunday was a strange comfort, and after another hour of daydreaming about a ‘normal’ life, I figured it was time to get back to my reality. As soon as Alfie and I were back in the car, my phone beeped with a text from Caleb. I considered ignoring it, knowing I’d have to face him as soon as he got home anyway, but my curiosity won out.

Change of plans, Brae and I are staying an extra night. Will be home tomorrow. Everything okay there?

His need to let me know his whereabouts, and then ask if everything was okay annoyed me to no end. It was bad enough I couldn’t stop thinking about the photos of him and his so-called lesbian friend, I didn’t need to be reminded that he’d left me alone all weekend. I rested my head on the back of the seat, and exhaled audibly, before giving him as indifferent a response as I could. I didn’t want him to know that I was left feeling somewhat disappointed that I wouldn’t be seeing him tonight.

Okay x

I thought better of the ‘x’ and deleted it before hitting send. A minute later another text from Caleb came through.

Is that all you’re going to give me?