Page 24 of Playing Pretend

“You should have thought about that before you decided to hold me responsible for my father’s actions five years ago. That’s what you’re doing, right? Blaming me for his mistakes?”

“Careful,” he warned.

“Or what? You’ll kick me out?” I lifted my arms up. “Newsflash dickwad, I was homeless, and you know why?”

Caleb continued to scowl, but I didn’t care. It was time to lay this ghost to rest, and we weren’t leaving this room until I’d said everything I needed to.

“For the last two years, I’ve been running from a family I’m ashamed of. You think your family was the only one that suffered, but mine did too. You’ve been so focused on making me feel small, that you didn’t stop to think maybe, just maybe, you weren’t the only one who got hurt.”

Caleb snarled, the sound reverberating through the space around us. “Your father tore my family apart by sleeping with my mother!”

“What my father did had nothing to do with me!” I yelled. “And need I remind you that it takes two people to have an affair, not just one. Your mother was just as responsible for that shitstorm.”

“She wasn’t in her right mind. Your father took advantage of her!”

“Oh for God’s sake, Caleb, I know you’re not that naïve! You just didn’t want to think that your mother was capable of something as deplorable as betrayal. But guess what, it happened, and last I checked it wasn’t your family that was exiled!”

“Exiled?” Caleb’s scornful laughter was filled with derision. “Your father ran because he was guilty, Kadence. Nobody told him to leave.”

“That’s a lie. You made sure we had no other choice but to leave. You couldn’t see past your own anger and resentment to acknowledge it wasn’t all about you.”

“What? I didn’t do anything to make you leave. You just fucking disappeared!”

I stilled at the genuine shock, and confusion in Caleb’s voice.

“I wanted to wait until it had all blown over before I reached out to you. Yes, I was so fucking angry about all of it, but I didn’t blame you. I was in love with you!”

The air in my lungs evaporated like water in an open flame.

“W-what?” I stuttered, in spite of having heard him clearly.

“You were so young, and so untouchable, but I couldn’t help myself. You exuded everything I wished I was, everything that was good, and innocent, and I became addicted to how I felt when we were in the same room. The last thing I expected was for you vanish without a trace, or for me to even care that you did.”

“I don’t understand.” It came out as a whisper. “You dated all those women, and then that night, on the roof, I saw you with Katrina.”

“It’s not what you thought.” Caleb was no longer angry. Instead, he looked pained, like he would rather be doing anything else but talking to me about our past. “Your sister was a little drunk, and she propositioned me. I came up with some story about how I didn’t want to take advantage of her while she was intoxicated, and she bought it. I didn’t want her to know I was outside looking for you. I already felt like a creeper. I didn’t need her getting suspicious.”

My mouth went dry, and my mind scrambled to piece together the puzzle of what had happened all those years ago. It was all starting to make sense, but what I couldn’t discern was why Caleb had been treating me so poorly as of late. I reasoned that it was because of what my father did, that Caleb was simply looking for a place to direct his disdain, but I never considered the possibility that my assumption was wrong.

Caleb moved closer, and my mouth opened with a gasp when he brought his knuckles up to my cheek. The warmth in the room had nothing to do with the open terrace doors, or the heat outside.

“Kadence.”

My eyes darted up. “Hmm?”

“When I said I haven’t thought about you in five years, I lied. The night I kissed you, and the knowledge that no other man had been there before me, haunted me for years.”

“Then why have you been so mean?” I asked honestly.

Caleb dropped his hand, and he put some much-needed distance between us. It was both a relief, and a loss.

“Seeing you again blindsided me, and I admit that I handled it wrong, but I didn’t know how else to handle it, to handle you.”

“Why couldn’t you just talk to me Caleb?”

“Because we’re not the same people anymore, Kadence. A lot can happen in five years.”

“I know,” I acquiesced. “But that didn’t give you a right to be cruel.”