Page 62 of Come Back To Me

I was gone so long that the sun had already started its descent over the horizon, so I jogged up the stairs and knocked on Callie’s door. I wasn’t entirely sure about what I was going to say yet, knowing that an apology wasn’t enough. I had yet to explain to her exactly what happened with Kenzi, holding off because I felt like it wasn’t my story to tell. But I was wrong. It was my story just as much as it was Kenzi’s and I should have considered it when I tried moving on. No future relationships would work unless I was up front, regardless of what happened with Kenzi in the future.

The door opened, and Callie appeared, dressed in a pair of black sweats and a long sleeved Henley. She looked a little surprised to see me, but stepped back and opened the door so that I could walk in.

“Excuse the mess,” she murmured, following me into her living room. I’d been here once before and now felt horribly out of place. I rubbed the back of my neck, my body taut with nerves and trepidation.

“I came to apologize,” I told her, cutting straight to the point. It was senseless to draw this conversation out any longer than necessary. Callie sighed, folding her arms across her chest. Her expression revealed that she knew why I was here.

“I don’t know if I should be mad or not,” she replied, walking over to her sofa. She took a seat, and motioned for me to join her.

“If I were you I would be.”

I leaned back, and Callie faced me, her knees bent between us. Looking at her made me realize that were it not for Kenzi, and how screwed up it all really was, she was exactly the type of girl I could see myself with. She was funny, and kind, and everything any guy would be glad to have, but she was far too good for the likes of someone like me. Someone who just couldn’t seem to get his shit together.

“Maybe if I knew what happened between you and Kenzi, I can decide if I have reason to be mad or not. You haven’t exactly been forthcoming.”

“I didn’t think I could tell you. I thought I’d be betraying Kenzi somehow because it’s her story, but I should have just been open with you from the start.”

“So be honest with me now, Vaughan. Clearly it’s your story too, if running out to rescue her today was anything to go by.”

I expected anger, or vexation, but Callie waited patiently, her inflection encouraging. It was more than I deserved.

My hands rubbed against my jeans, sweaty and a little shaky. It was the first time I was about to recap what happened with Kenzi, and go back to the night of her accident.

“Kenzi and I were never supposed to happen,” I started, raking my hands through my hair just for something to keep me from fidgeting. “I knew how protective her brothers were — are — but we were both unable to stop it. We kept it all under wraps for a few months, and eventually we both got so frustrated we decided to come out with it, consequences be damned.” My breath whooshed out of my lungs. “But they found out before we had a chance to tell them in person, and the night of Kenzi’s accident we ended up at Coach Davis’. Her brothers were pissed, especially Liam and Aiden, so when they started talking crap about Kenzi, I got angry and we started fighting.”

Flashbacks from that night assault me, vivid and bold like a movie reel.

“It upset Kenzi, and I should have been paying more attention to her than to what Aiden and Liam were saying, but I just saw red. She ran out, and drove away in my truck. I followed her, and we were stopped at a traffic light when it happened.”

Callie touched my hand, and I realized both hands were fisted at my sides. But I couldn’t relax, my body too rigid from fighting off the memories.

“The light turned green for us, but when Kenzi pulled away someone hit her from the side. It was a drunk driver who didn’t even stop, and I saw it all. The driver died on impact, he flew out the windshield and landed on the hood of his truck.” Callie gasps, and I force the rest of the words from my mouth. “Kenzi should have died too. They said anyone else with her injuries wouldn’t have made it. Her brother Connor had them put her in a medically induced coma for a little over a week, to help with the swelling on her brain, but when she finally woke up no one told me. And then when I saw her at the rink again, she had no idea who I was.” That burn started low in my chest, like I was living it all over again. “She lost an entire year’s worth of memories, and our relationship right along with it. Her entire first year of college, gone. And so was I.”

“God, Vaughan, that’s…” Callie’s words trail off and I feel her shift closer, offering me the kind of support I didn’t think I needed. I tried to put it all aside, and resume my life, but it was time for me to admit that resuming my life as if it had never happened wasn’t possible.

“I thought I’d be able to let go, but no matter how hard I’ve tried, I still have those memories. They’re still there, and seeing Kenzi all the time, knowing she had no clue has been killing me.”

“You love her,” said Callie. “That’s not something that will go away just because she doesn’t remember. All these feelings are still there, and you can’t expect them to vanish unless you’re completely ready. And you’re not ready, Vaughan.” Her voice fund gentle. “And I don’t think anyone can blame you for that.” I turned my head so that I could look at her fully. “I don’t.”

If ever there was I time I cursed the Universe for bad timing it was now. If only Callie had come along when I was ready.

“If our timing was different…”

Her smile was sad. “If only. I would have rocked your world, Vaughan King.”

“I have no doubt,” I replied honestly. “The guy that gets you is going to one lucky son of a bitch. I’m just sorry it’s not me.”

Callie dropped her head on to the back of the sofa. “Me too. But we’re still friends. I still care about you, and you deserve to be happy too.”

I sighed. I didn’t deserve Callie in any way at all. She was just too good, and I felt like an absolute prick for hurting her.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Callie. It was never my intention.”

“I know,” she sighed, and gave my hand a squeeze. “So what now?”

A million dollar question if ever there was one.

I couldn’t be with Callie when I was still in love with Kenzi - and it took all of this bullshit for me to see it — but I also couldn’t live life with a false sense of hope that Kenzi will remember us. So that left me…right back at square fucking one.